Beautifully Imperfect

Last month, I shared a video on my blog. From that theme of "beautifully imperfect", the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) in Singapore organised a contest to look for 10 'beautifully imperfect' couples.

This is an excerpt of what was written on Straits Times yesterday: (The original article here)

BY HIS own admission, Mr De Beers Wong, 28, is short, tubby and all business - even aloof - while at work. For the past nine months, he has been romancing Miss Megan Kong, 25. She is willowy next to him, and also the 'angel' liked by everyone in the same office for her warmth and friendliness. The couple admit they are like chalk and cheese.

As Miss Kong said: 'Our colleagues were very shocked when we first got together as we are so different, but we can really communicate.'

The insurance agents are 'beautifully imperfect' - exactly the type of couple the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) is looking for in an online contest. It is no ordinary contest, though.

Behind it is the serious business of persuading Singaporeans to get married and have children. So what does being 'beautifully imperfect' have to do with anything?

Everything, said Mr Richard Tan, MCYS' director of communications and international relations. He cited a 2007 study's finding that most young Singaporeans did want to get married, but were not doing so, they said, because they had yet to meet their Mr or Miss Right. But what, exactly, is 'right'?

Enter 'beautifully imperfect': The drive aims to inspire marriage-minded singles to find that special person based on character and personality, instead of applying society's checklist of beauty, wealth, education and family background.

'The person who is not perfect as defined by the world around us may turn out to be the perfect husband or wife,' he said.

Reach them it did. In just over a month, more than 14,000 people joined the group, and more than 370 couples signed up for the contest.

How true is it that single men and women generally go through their checklist of "Mr Right" or "Miss Right" before they get married, only to find out that there is never a perfect "Mr/Miss Right" in the world. Dreams are dashed which lead to divorce down the road when your spouse fail to meet your expectations. When will people really truly realise that there is not a perfect person for you?

I think every married couple is beautifully imperfect in their own ways... ways that when you see a certain 'imperfection' in your spouse and despite that, you accept him/her for who he/she is and able to smile about it.

I like how wedding couples' wedding vows are asked "WILL you, xxx, take xxx as your lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish/obey until death do us part or the Lord Jesus Christ returns" (this was my marriage vow). When the person answered "I will", it means that he/she will (try to) honour this vow/promise/covenant, now and future. In some instances (and often in movies), the celebrant ask "DO you....?" And when you say "I do", it seems that it only applies the now and not the future. "I will" implies that you will commit to be in a loving marital relationship with this person in all circumstances - for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. Isn't that really sweet?

In God's eyes, I am also a 'beautifully imperfect' person. In fact, I am made perfect in and through Jesus Christ's death and resurrection because He did that for me (and you too!). My physical body is still not perfected as I live on earth but I await for Jesus' return to see my Lord in my perfect body :)

Family in the Process

My family (parents and siblings) have not really been through a real 'crisis' before. I really do not wish for unfortunate things to happen to my family but if so God wills, I am sure He has it for a good reason. We experienced our 1st and 2nd unexpected deaths in our close family last year. Through those incidents and sorting out the aftermath, my family probably got closer a bit together. To begin with, my family is the typical Asian type where my parents do not really show much of their love and emotions to their children. And amongst my siblings and I, we may hang out together but we are not very close nor know each other's deepest thoughts and feelings.

Being the only Christian and the eldest child in the family, I tend to have the 'messiah syndrome' and I do get stressed out by it at times. Being the eldest means that I am always being looked upon to decide things and also the source of wisdom in some matters. I was rather stressed at both deaths then. And now that I have moved out (not only out of home but also out of the country), that pillar is kinda gone even though I am just a phone call away. Yet I feel like I have to be there to motivate, steer and direct the family in some occasions, it sometimes feel like I have to do something otherwise no one else can do it.

The current 'crisis' that my family is going through now is of course, not something that we'd like it to happen. Although it is a really difficult time for particular member of the family, I could also see how this situation can potentially rally all of us together to be strong together. It breaks my heart to know that a member of my family is hurt and I do wish that I could be back at this very moment to be there to help hold up the situation and be a 'messiah'. However I am glad in some way that I could also be with the family in spirit and be in communication via the telephone. Yet I realised that it was better for me to talk and express what I would have found it difficult to say over in person. I know that my family is aware of hubby and my love and support with the family even though we are not present physically.

It also made me realised that I have to commit and entrust my family to God due to my absence. I mean I ought to entrust them to God even when I am physically around but it becomes more of a challenge when I am not around. I realised that I cannot be a 'messiah' even though I may feel like I am one to them. Really, Jesus is the true messiah. It only makes me pray more for my family's salvation and that they will come to know Jesus as their Lord and Messiah. I know this doesn't sound good but in the past I would wonder why is it that I feel like I don't love my family enough to desire much of their salvation and actively praying and sharing with them? I never had the answer but I remembered praying for that love for my family and it seems to be answered through these current circumstances. I felt saddened by the situation, and yet I know I have to be strong for my family to encourage them and spur them on, more so also that I have Jesus. All the more I pray that they will know Jesus not so that life will be better, but that they will have that future hope in Jesus and a life eternal. Perhaps this is also a good opportunity to show them hubby and my Christian worldview and (hopefully) maturity and love, that they are able to see the difference in us being Christians.

In a personal way, I also thank God for the chance to grow my relationships with individuals of my family. E.g. I had a long 1-to-1 talk with my dad last night for the first time. Dad usually does not say more than 10 sentences to us each day and hence last night was a breakthrough for us. If anything, I hope that through our conversation I managed to encourage him and he could see my growth and maturity through the things I say to him and that he will realise that I am truly a grown girl... and for him to slowly realise and eventually be able to show his love for us more openly and freely. I have had conversations with other individuals in my family too but this with dad was the most significant.

I am also thankful that I have hubby to partner me in this journey together as I face my family, to be there to support me beside me and also a chance for him to participate with us in this situation and to grow closer with my family. There are many opportunities for me to grow closer with hubby's family because we are living in the same country but not for hubby with my family.

Through it all, I still thank God because hubby and I are able to see how this 'crisis' will potentially grow each of us in my family and something for everyone to learn. May God continue to change us and work in us... Makes me look forward to be back in Singapore (which I will be in 2 weeks' time) and for a short holiday that we are planning to go together. This would be our 2nd family holiday but our first with the latest addition of hubby (total of 6). We only really went away once as a family of 5 and this was about 3 years ago)

Would you pray for my folks and siblings' salvation? Thank you for your partnership :)

Moved by My Little Friend

I had previously blogged about my little friend, Cha - about her thoughts of me getting married and her reaction when she saw me in my glasses. Cha is (now) my 6-year-old little friend.

Cha was my flower girl when I had my wedding celebration in Singapore. She wants to be a flower girl but she only wants to be MY flower girl and no one else's. She probably figured that she wants to be loyal to me. And so the old joke was that if I never got married, she will never get to be a flower girl. After the wedding, I (and her mummy too) told her that she can now address me as "aunty island" (as supposed to che che island. che che means "older sister"). However she refused and replied "No! You are always my che che island". I thought that was very sweet of her because I saw the place of me in her heart.

About one month after I moved to Brissy last year, Cha's mummy emailed me and told me that both of them were painting the ceramic Pooh Bear piggy bank that I gave Cha some time ago. As Cha was painting it, she told her mummy "Mum, seeing pooh bear just makes me feel like che che island is here with us. Won't you agree?"

Apparently, Cha has been telling her mummy a few times that she misses me. She knows that I am in Australia and I have spoken to her over the phone before. One time, earlier in the day before I rang her she told her mummy "Mum, I miss che che island. Tak boleh tahan (malay term meaning unbearable or "I cannot take it anymore!")"

The knowledge of cha, a 6-year-old girl missing me and thinking of me, really moved me. I don't know why I am not as moved when my family and friends in Singapore miss me. But when I know how much this girl miss me, I am moved (to tears) by her love for me and it really warms my heart knowing that. I suppose I did not expect a little girl to miss me that much. Now that she knows I will be going back to Singapore soon, she is so looking forward to see me.

As she knows that I will be back in about 2 weeks' time, she told her parents that she wants to go Sushi Teh with me only. Sushi Teh was our favourite hunt but I have never gone with her alone. It was usually with her parents too. She did not want hubby to come along this time and she feels bad about it. In her young and innocent ways, she told me "I don't want you to be my aunty island. I want you to be my che che island. If you bring uncle W, you cannot be che che island anymore..." Cha understood that I am married but do not understand that even so, I still love her and is her 'che che island'. Except that now we are miles apart, our relationship is still there but not very much the same. In some way she has accepted that I have moved on in life but in some way, she hasn't. She still has much memories of me in the past. She cried as she felt bad about not letting hubby coming along for lunch because she does not want me to feel sad, yet she cannot deny her innermost feelings that she wants me only. Sigh, this girl, sometimes it seems funny and she makes me laugh at her little girl's silly ways but really she is so real and genuine that laughing at her ways seem to then not take her feelings into consideration.

Cha will be going to start school in Primary One next year. I pray that as she grows up, she will be a fine young lady with her big genuine heart to love and be gracious to everyone. May others see Christ's love in her too.

Walking Her Home

Mark Schultz sang the song with the title above and I have been hearing it on the radio. This is 'the song' of one of our couple friends who were recently engaged. I thought I'll look up the lyrics on google and this is what I found:

Looking back, he sees it all

It was her first date the night he came to call

Her dad said son, have her home on time

And promise me you’ll never leave her side

He took her to a show in town

And he was ten feet off the ground

(Chorus) He was walking her home

And holding her hand

Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him

Down that old road with the stars up above

He remembers where he was the night he fell in love

He was walking her home

Ten more years and a waiting room at half past one

And the doctor said come in and meet your son

His knees went weak when he saw his wife

She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes

And as she slept he held her tight

His mind went back to that first night

He walked her through the best days of her life

Sixty years together and he never left her side

A nursing home, at eighty-five

And the doctor said it could be her last night

And the nurse said

Oh Should we tell him now or should he wait until the morning to find out

But when they checked her room that night

He was laying by her side

Oh he was walking her home and holding her hand

Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end

And just for a while they were eighteen

And she was still more beautiful to him than anything

He was walking her home

He was walking her home

Looking back, he sees it all

It was her first date the night he came to call

Lovely lyrics and rather moving, isn't it? There was another love song which made me teared. I will go look up the lyrics of the song....

An Anniversary & An Enriched Weekend

About 3 weeks ago, we celebrated our "proposal anniversary" - the day that W asked me for my hand in marriage. A year later, here I am in Brisbane. Its amazing how much can happen in the space of 12 months...

I cooked a special meal for us to enjoy and celebrate the occasion.

Pork chop with mashed potatoes, mushrooms and veggies

One year on...

It was also timely that we went off for a short getaway down at the Gold Coast last week. Thank God for the special promotion that we got for our 4D/3N accommodation at Surfer's Paradise. Hubby had bought this as a Valentine's Day gift for us to enjoy and we picked last week with Anzac Day public holiday to enjoy the gift :) We spent time relaxing, cooking (in the seld-contained apartment), watching DVDs, taking walks, eating and visited the casino :p (we only went in to look and did not play. I was flattered when the security asked for my ID because he think that I could be younger than 25 years old!)

In the queue for buffet dinner at Conrad Jupiters. A nice Aussie lady offered to take this for us.

Right after our break, we checked out and drove 2 beaches down to check ourselves in to a marriage enrichment retreat. This MER was organised by Chinese Families for Christ. There, we spent 3D/2N with 12 other couples, learning to enrich our marriages in Christ.

Everyone who has been to the retreat left with a "Wow" and an enriched marriage. But of course we have to put into practice what we have learnt thereafter. To begin with, it was a rather challenging task because the retreat was conducted in Mandarin (there was only either Mandarin or Cantonese to choose from). Hubby had a little more difficulty than me but he eventually understood more than 90% of it. My parents-in-law had gone for this MER years ago and their marriage was transformed thereafter and hence they felt burdened enough to serve in the ministry to facilitate the retreats. Having personally witnessed the transformation, hubby and his sister decided to sign up with their spouses respectively.

Many of the things that were taught were not too new to me and hubby. But what was very helpful was the genuine and honest sharing of experiences from the facilitating couples. We also got to put into practice, how to do certain things, like effective communication, how to build up each other's emotional banks, how to share our feelings especially our negative feelings. The practical lessons helped us a lot. Being put in the environment of 12 other couples with varying years of marriage and everyone were there with a humble heart of learning, we walked away feeling really recharged to work on our marriage.

After our romantic dinner: words that read literally "We love because God first loved us. How God love us, we also love each other in the same manner"

Do not be mistakened that MER is meant for those whose marriages are on the rocks. It is to enrich our marriages. Although we are only married for 5 months+, the past attendees would tell you that it is better to attend the MER when you are younger in marriage, than later in marriage. Indeed like one couple said, we could be involved in setting up a good family of origin and background for our children and their marriages. Like it or not, our mindset of marriage and family come from our own family with our parents. So it is crucial that we begin now for our future generations... and by God's grace, our marriage, our children and their marriages will honour Christ.

MER made us better understand that marriage is tough, but it is a good thing that God instituted. We learnt practical methods on how to work through our marriage, to build in the romance factor into it and also how to practically love each other in Christ - to love and respect each other. It is not easy for husbands to love their wives just as Christ love and sacrifice for the church. It is also not easy for wives to submit to their husbands. But we all learn and progress together in this journey and I think this is the beauty of it all :)

I thank God for the gift of His love, the gift of marriage and the gift of my hubby.

He Loved Us First

Watermelon gal wrote a song for me and sang it at the wedding dinner held in Singapore. This song serves to remind me what love is and we should look for the definition of the word from my Lord and Savious Jesus Christ.

In Australia, there is an additional Easter Monday public holiday on top of Good Friday (which is tomorrow). So from tomorrow, I have a long weekend to rest and relax. There has been so much bunnies, chocolates and easter eggs on sale everywhere around me. BUT most people have forgotten the most important significance of Good Friday and Easter. I do not know how Easter and bunnies have any relations, but really, I am not bothered because it is not important. Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins some 2000 years ago and He rose to life and ascended into heaven 3 days later on Easter Day. That, is important to me... without which I will not be what I am today.

My prayer today: that there will be more and more people who will understand the true meaning of Good Friday and be able to share in this joy of salvation with me.

I’m glad to share this very special moment
You’re looking every bit the radiant bride
And I wish you all the joy that a heart can contain
And God’s grace for each day of life

As you learn to love and hold and cherish
And find magic in God’s precious gift of time
Remember your first promise that you gave as man and wife
And that it’s God who made you one in Christ

Remember the Christ who died for us
That it’s by the blood of sacrifice
We are cleansed from our sin
Remember the Son who said:
Not my will be done
Remember the one who loved us first
Remember that you were loved first

Love is true and generous and patient
It always has another’s good in mind
It needs no pride or envy and it chooses to have faith
For it stands in the love of Christ

Love Story

I had wanted to post an entry of 1 Corinthians 13 but as I read an entry on Soul Femininity, I was moved by the story (true story).

LARISSA'S STORY

Reading the story stirred up quite some emotions in me. Partly because I had just completed the sneak preview of a local drama "Making Miracles" on mobtv. I suppose I am particularly interested of the drama because of the place where I am working.

Larissa's story about Ian also reminded me that whatever future plans that I may have, I must not count on them but trust God completely to provide, to lead and to guide. Easier said than done though...

True love is present between Larissa and Ian. But God's love for us is far greater and unconditional. This Valentine's Day where everyone is talking about love, let it not just be restricted to the romantic type of love but a reminder for us to show acts of love for our loved ones and others whom we may not know, because God has called us to love His people, His created beings.

On a side note: To those who are married or have someone special, do treasure and cherish them. Show them DAILY (not just today) that you love them and appreciate them. To those who are single, don't fret. Be contented with the gift that God has given you for the moment - singleness. God knows when to exchange that gift with you for another gift at His time and by His will.

Nevertheless, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! =)

Hard Love

Saw/heard this about 1 month back:
"Suppose 2 persons get to know 1000 persons on average in a lifetime, the chances of meeting each other is 1 in 100,000. So what are the chances of them falling for each other?? Perhaps we have never seriously thought how hard it is for two persons to be in love... and for two persons to stay committed for life is even harder to come by."

Church is now doing a series on 1 John. I was reminded that the mark of God's believers is the test of love. It was not surprising to keep hearing Pastor C emphasizing on loving your brothers.. loving people, for most parts of this year. Having the knowledge of the truth and God's word, the most difficult part is for us to live it out in our lives.

To love - easier said than done. How often do we only look out for our own self interest and gain? How do we treat our loved ones? Do you regard yourself better than others? How often do we think others have wronged us whilst we have been angels to them? Do we only love those who are lovable?

The Lovables
Isn't baby D cute? Who won't melt at seeing him? Its easy to love someone as cute as baby D, easy to love nice people, good-looking people, people who are fun to be with.

I am guilty of not loving the unlovables. Someone I know and dislike, has passed away from a heart attack a few days ago. His death was quite an irony (but I shall not elaborate further lest I disclose his identity). Some were not saddened by his sudden demise, but some others were sad that it happened so suddenly for someone who was not that old. I was shocked and had a few seconds of disbelief when I saw the obituary on the papers. Although I don't like him, I was still very surprised by his sudden death.

Honestly I was not the only one who found it difficult to love this man. I know its too late but now that he is not around, I wonder how I could have been more loving. I am not close to him enough to love him in the romantic ways or even show him any acts of love. But I suppose by not complaining to others about him could have been one way of being loving... and that has to begin with the heart of loving.

There are many examples of people whom I can quote that I find them difficult to love. I don't declare to be able to love them all from this instant moment. But I pray that I can begin bit by bit to be loving. I too, a sinner, but God loved me so much. If I truly understood the gospel, I must pass the love test.

In Our Relationships
Pastor specifically mentioned the marriage relationship. When we find it difficult to love our spouses "He/she is so... (fill in a negative word), how can I possibly live with him/her? How can I love him/her?" Like the quote at the beginning of this entry, it is becoming more difficult for people to stay in their marriages and not calling it quits. Do we then give up loving our spouses, seek a divorce and look for someone else to love? Chances are, we will also find it difficult to love the next person in other ways.

In Christian marriages, we do not "move on" to find someone better but we "hold on"... just as the marriage vow "for better or for worse, till death do us part".

In our relationships with each other, do we put the other person before ourselves, putting the other's needs above ours? Do we go our way out to "love until we bleed"? If our love is not reciprocated/appreciated, we still carrying on loving risking our own interests?

Only Jesus has demonstrated that love perfectly. We can only model after his love and trusting that we can give that love, not by our own but with His strength and His love.

Ministerial Love
I have also been recipient by others' of acts of love. M has been cooking yummy-licious dinner for the DG for the past 3 weeks and there's more to come. Time and effort put in to cook enough to feed 8-10 hungry people each week.

R also opened up his house and his wife cooked us a simple yet delicious 4-course lunch for my music team. Their humility and love has blessed the team as we fellowship and get to know one another on top of the time that we usually spent practising music and serving at Sunday services.

Food is not the only avenue that people do to show their love. I am also greatly encouraged by people who have been using their cars to minister to others without cars - going all the way out to ferry people from one location to another. I am also blessed by my "Transport Minister" after DG ends late at night :)

Loving God
John reminds us in 1 John 2, that we are to say no to the world and its ways. "Do not love the world or anything in the world" (2:15) We are to say "yes" to God and to continue to believe in Jesus Christ. We are to reject the antichrists (2:18-23) who distract us from God and tempts us with another gospel or anything more than the gospel.

We are reminded to remain in Christ, in the word that we first believe - the gospel, so that nothing can make us insecure abotu Christ. We cannot love the world and love God together at the same time. Love for God and love for the world are mutually exclusive. We have to choose - love God or love the world (world meaning worldliness - cravings of sinful man, lust of this eyes and boasting of what he has)?

LOVE - a word easy to spell but not easy to act on. Remembering how God first loved us and by His grace, may we continue to love...

What Is Love?

Watermelon girl got married over the weekend. She wrote a song for her hubby and sang it at the dinner whilst he played on the guitar.

Hey girl, thank you for your friendship and your love. May both of you grow in love in years as we continue to learn what is love by looking at Jesus Christ.

What is Love

Of the two of us I know

You'd be the kinder one
You'd be the first to take my hand
So I'd never have to run

Of the two of us I'd be
The one who falls apart
I'm scared of what I see in me
And my disobedient heart

So I'm amazed at the promise that you gave
That for all your days
We'll learn together
For better or worse

Oh I'm amazed
As I am after each battle
At your gentle and all forgiving love

Of the two of us we have
A stronger promise yet
God Himself has made us one
Oh this far exceeds our earthly vows

He'll give us everything we need
To live the testimony
That when all our days have come to pass
All creation will be

Amazed at the glory of the Lamb
Christ who broke the sin of men
By the blood He shed

And as He reigns exalted high above
His Word and Spirit teach us what is love

I know that loving can be hard
I know I make you tired
So this I pray with all my heart:
That we'll keep our eyes upon the Cross

Our Lord who bore His Father's wrath
For sinners who crucified Him
Had every right to ask for justice
Yet He cried, forgive

So be amazed, that Christ should love us first
We were lost in selfish anger
When He took on flesh to die on earth

By grace, as He laid gasping on the Cross
God Himself was showing what is love

Jesus Christ our Saviour God is love

4Fs

In case you may be thinking that I'm rude.... no I'm not trying to be rude. The 4Fs I'm referring to are Friends, Food, Fellowship and Fun.

It has been a whole month of 'holiday mood' since my super duper busy period at work in late May, followed by church camp. Post-busy period and now back to work... really not quite in the mood to do so. But I really need to pull up my socks to prepare for the coming half of the year.

One highlight was to have a few good friends from overseas who visited in the past month. For the past 4 weekends, I went to the airport 3 times. The last will be leaving this Sunday. We had a couple of gatherings to catch up and fellowship over food and games. It was nice to know that although we all have moved on in our lives and despite our physical distances (Australia, Indonesia and Singapore) we could still maintain our friendship and being able to encourage each other in our walk. Being in the family of Christ is such a wonderful thing - to experience the love of God for us through His people.

J and her hubby A visited from Indonesia. J is one of our overseas camp committee member. She designed the name tag and t-shirt. The couple came specially for church camp. M visited from Down Under. M's getting married to D (not in photo) in November and hopefully most of us will be able to fly here to attend the wedding. W from Aussie Land also came for holiday and church camp. I'm sure he missed (at least) the food and fellowship with us :P

Thank God for giving me friends - those whom we can not only have fun with, but those whom we can count on in good times and bad times... friends whom I know will share my joys, laughter, disappointments and grief... friends who truly care, who will pray with you, laugh with you, cry with you, giving you a shoulder to cry on, shares your excitement and care for those who matters to you.

In more practical ways, friends loan kitchen for you to mess up (oops! I mean to cook in), offer car rides from one end of Singapore to the other, put up with the 'homeless', talk over long distances with, gives you a hug when you are down, makes you laugh till you roll on the floor whilst playing taboo (and cha-boo), gives encouragement when you are discouraged, gives assurance when you are uncertain, cleans car for you (better than the petrol attendant at the kiosk), offer to drive when you are really worn out, putting up with your idiosyncrasies and accepts you for who you are... the list is endless.

I guess through it all, it spells L-O-V-E. Thank you, my dear friends :)

Love in Many Language

Rust did the test and posted on his blog. I have a similar book by Gary Chapman. Bought it in Sydney some 4 years ago. A friend borrowed it from me a few weeks ago and since he just returned me in the past week, I thought I will flip through some pages...

After my first reading of the book years ago, I did figure out what is my love language. But since the quiz was available, I thought I will give it a try :)

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Acts of Service:		9
Quality Time:		9
Physical Touch:		8
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		0

Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

The results were quite the same as what I had thought it was, probably except that I didn't think that both Acts of Service and Quality Time would be of equal score. Looks like I am not a gift person... but I wonder why the score is zero when I do like/enjoy gifts, especially when they are things that you would like to have/own. Well who would reject a gift right? ;)

Reflections on Love

I have been talking, evaluating and reflecting with the leaders of one of the ministries I serve in.... about the past year, about its members, about ourselves as leaders, about the coming year. Not sure if this is a valid reason or it is merely an excuse, sometimes I feel tired of giving... giving of my time and efforts to people and sometimes would entertain thoughts of "How come I am not receiving?" Sometimes I would 'take a break' and just spend time by myself, doing the things I enjoy to do, catch up with old friends that I've not met for some time... generally taking a 'back seat' in ministry and service.

As I search myself, I realised how selfish and unloving I have been. Do I serve for a personal agenda or purely simply serving the God who loves me? Who gets the glory for the things that I do? Am I motivated to please God or please man? Have I really love God and therefore love His people? If I truly love His people, how can I ever get tired? The imperfect me know that I don't have 100% right motive to serve God, 100% glory all to God, 100% to please God, 100% love His people. I guess I was reminded of the finite me, the sinful me and how I am living under God's rule of my life and God's grace to enable me to live my life. Therefore I need to surrender to Him daily, trusting Him to provide, loving this God who saved me, loving His people whom He love, serving with a servant heart. Not easy I must say... but I thank God that in the midst of the reflections, I have recognised this. I pray that He will help me love His people... help me be other-person-centred. I thank God for a renewed and refreshed heart and mind to serve Him as this new year unveils.

It was probably no coincidence that the first sermon of the year was about LOVE. Pastor spoke from 1 Corinthians 13 - the popular Bible passage on love. Although many couples picked this passage for their weddings, it has almost really nothing to do with romantic love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-4 - "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

The people in the city of Corinth had been engrossed in self love, self ambition and self glory. They will give up everything to gain all that at all costs. Paul questioned the gifts that the Corinthians have.... if they exercise the gifts that they have but have not love, they gain nothing and are nothing. The activity of the gift becomes valueless if there is no love.

Ministries done without love equals to nothing. Pastor also added that the love is an unspectacular, unrecognised and unnoticed love. Ministries done with love often go unnoticed and unrecognised. Does it mean that we give up serving? This hit home the point of my earlier reflection as I serve God in my ministry... if the love shown in the time I spend for the people is not recognised and appreciated by them, do I just give up loving them? If they do not respond, do I just give up on them? Jesus did not give up on the people when people ridicule him, persecute him and nail him on the Cross. He did not give up on his disciples when they betray him and deny him. So what am I doing with the people whom I claim to serve?

Pastor also spoke a bit about weddings and marriages... The groom will wait patiently for the longest time for his bride to arrive on the wedding day. But after that day, will he always wait patiently for his wife and not dread at every opportunity to have to wait for her? Weddings are celebrated in a spectacular manner, but marriage is really not so spectacular and romantic... but day to day and ordinary living. Love is unspectacular, unrecognised and unnoticed.

1 Corinthians 13:5-8 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

What strikes me about the above verses was that patience is long-suffering. Long-suffering means an active decision not to retaliate. How difficult that is to do!!! To be kind is sometimes, to be paying back wrong with kindness. It is not just the willingness but also the 'quickness' to pay back with kindness. This does not mean that we do not hurt when others wronged us. It only means that the hurt does not matter anymore... this is "love is kind".

God has commanded us to love one another. By displaying the kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13, others will be able to see that we are God's people. I pray that I can continue to love His people....