Baby Shower

It would be so fun to have a baby shower. I look forward to the cute cupcakes, pretty little finger food, decorations, catching up with friends. A number of friends asked if I was having a baby shower for our first baby. But since a while ago, I already decided not to have one. At one stage, I thought of having one in combination with my birthday in November, which will just be a catching up session with friends - no games, and the usual baby shower things, just catching up with friends and their families. But in the end, I wasn't motivated to have one and just had a simple quiet birthday spent with hubby.

In Singapore where I grew up and spent most of my life living in, I have not heard of baby showers. The common practice is a celebration when baby is one month old. I think in the past, babies may not survive past one month and hence it is a celebration when a baby turns one month old. I feel a little odd to have people giving me/us presents when baby is not born. I feel more odd to have a baby shower and in a nice way, telling my friends "please give us presents for the baby!". Maybe because I am Asian so I prefer to receive presents when friends are willing to give (and some have asked me what I need) and not having to ask for presents from those I invite to the baby shower party. On top of that, I trust the God will provide what I need, whether brand new (bought or given), preloved or loaned. And He did and still is providing! What a great God who sees to His promises!

I have attended a couple of baby showers of friends in Brisbane. As much as it can be fun with many pretty things and food, I find that I generally don't enjoy them (I know it is about my friends and their babies and not about me so sometimes I will attend for their sake and not my own). Maybe because I don't like the games part and I also realised I cannot deal with the attention I will be getting at my own baby shower. I guess, as extrovert a person as I am, I much prefer to chat and catch up with friends on a one-to-one or a small group in a very casual setting.

In the past 5 years of trying to conceive, I also found it very hard for me to be at baby showers. I am very happy for my friends and blessing them with a gift for their coming addition in their family but I struggle to varying degrees when I am at baby showers. I can't just invite friends who have had children and not those who are single or married without children. I appreciate and know that my friends sharing the joy of  us having our new addition but I prefer not to put anyone who might be struggling to have children in an uncomfortable position. Of course, this is my personal position and struggle and does not represent everyone who struggle to conceive. I don't mean baby showers are a no-no and I am not downplaying friends who have/had baby showers. Baby showers are a joyous occasion and there is nothing wrong in itself having one. This has just been a personal decision(s) for me and thought I will share here for those who might be interested to know. :)

Recently I read about someone's church who organised a prayer shower for her and her bub. I really love the idea! So about 2 weeks ago, I emailed the girl friends whom I might invite for a baby shower some prayer points to be praying for me and bub. It has be a great encouragement, privilege and blessing to be showered with prayers! :)

10 Weeks To Go

Its been a long while, a long break away from blogging. There is no excuse. I was just plain lazy. But I thought I want to share/write down my reflections from these few days.

After close to 5 years of trying and waiting, at an unexpected time (but in God's perfect timing), He blessed us with a child. For the past 30 weeks, He has been weaving and knitting a little human inside my womb. I like how a friend puts it - "This is the only time that God and I can "create" together". But really, it is God who is doing the creating work and I can only try to take good care of my body during this "creation" process. I probably used to take it for granted but now realised that it is a beautiful privilege to be able to conceive and bear a child. And when I say this, I don't mean that any woman who cannot bear a child for whatever reason is any less than those who can. What I mean is that the conception of a child is not an easy thing. It requires many different biochemical and hormonal reactions in the body in order for a pregnancy to take place. And of course, these are only under the control of our Maker, the Creator of this world, our Lord God. Similarly, for a child to continue his/her life (and for everyone, for that matter), only God is in ultimate control. Medicine can only do/help that much.

I do not know how long this child growing in me will be alive for. I only know that every day, every hour, every minute that this child is growing and alive, is purely God' grace. Perhaps I sound a little pessimistic here. In the past 2-3 years and especially this year, I have had a total of 5 friends (whom I know personally but may not be actively in contact with), lost their baby either stillborn or breathed no more than a few days after birth. 2 of such occurred within the same month in July. This does not include those whom I know about but don't know them personally. Any death is devastating. Somehow a child/infant's death seems much more heartbreaking. This is why I have not been very excited, unlike our families and friends, but just being realistic that our lives are in His hands and whilst we rejoice and give thanks, we also know that "The Lord can give, the Lord can take away". No matter what happens, His plans for us are good. I have to admit that at the very early stages of my pregnancy, I had moments of fear/worries about miscarrying. Partly because of that, the first 3 months felt like a much longer time to pass. I knew that because it has taken this long for us to conceive, by the time if we do, the child would be very precious to us. I do fear and pray that the child won't be an idol that takes us away from God. I recall 1.5 weeks after my first gynae appointment, telling my close girlfriends that it felt like a long time to have to wait another 2.5 weeks to see the doctor, to know if the child is alive or not. Those months were really a good challenging time of trusting God, trusting that this little life is in His hands. Minutes before I enter the doctor's room at my first few monthly appointments, I would prepare myself that I may not see/hear a heartbeat and pray and remind myself if this child has a heartbeat, it is totally His grace and mercy. I was thankful that the one day where I really worried a lot (and considering if we should carry on our plans to fly to Adelaide when I was 7 weeks gestation), God reminded me gently that rationally, it was safe to fly (my health was ok and doctor says I can fly). If anything happens to baby because of the trip, it is all in His good plans as well. And so I realised that even if the child were to only be alive for a short period of time, I can still thankful for his/her existence, which has shown me that I could conceive and He did answer my prayer. Even though it was very early then, we had shared with our families and very close friends. I was very moved at how all of them were so happy and so full of thanksgiving to God for this conception, this answered prayer, that I know this child is already so well loved and welcomed. Without the conception of this child, I wouldn't have got to experience this, nor people have the chance to specifically praise and thank God for this child, this answered prayer. The realisation of this, got me through the first trimester.

The second trimester started to be challenging for me, health-wise. I am one of the lucky ones who didn't have morning sickness in the first trimester (except for an isolated incident at week 14 where I threw up and not due to nausea). I was more tired than usual but I know of others who were much more tired than me. However, it was when I started to have symptoms of water retention which caused my right arm, later my right hand and progressed to my left arm and hands to be numb and weaker due to carpal tunnel syndrome caused by pregnancy-induced water retention. This caused me inconvenience in doing some household chores, cook and prep food and when I sleep. This has and is still training my patience and trusting that even with physical restrictions, I can still give thanks, despite my occasional frustrations of this unexpected and unwanted inconveniences. The symptoms only got worse as time past, with my feet quickly and easily swell up whenever the weather is warm or whenever I ate too salty, or when I walked too much. Overall, I'm thankful that these symptoms and the blood tests I have had did not show any complications to date (I had a scare for gestational diabetes recently but very thankfully, it turned out to be negative).

With my sister (who is 2 weeks ahead of me) and my grandfather who will soon be a centurion by the time we both give birth to our baby boys. He is looking very much forward to meeting his 2 great-grandsons.

I am 2 weeks into my third trimester now. I know that these 3 months (or less) will feel like the quickest and it is time to count down. Bub can pop anytime from the week of Christmas (8 weeks from now). Thankfully, bub's head is already 'down' about 5 weeks ago. Since sometime in the second trimester, I already have been feeling more and more easily breathless (I get breathless even walking up the stairs at home slowly), having heartburn and getting hungry very easily. My hands and feet are still the same as before. I now sleep with 6 pillows in order to be comfortable. I know that I am already starting to wish that bub can be born soon so that the symptoms can be gone. In addition, I am also finding it awkward to do certain things like squatting down to pick up something , standing by the sink to wash dishes (my tummy is in the way and I have to stand in an unnatural position that my back is being strained and results in backache). Recently I'm also getting tired of having to look for food frequently because I feel hungry, or because of the onset of heartburn. A few days ago, while I was doing my weekly grocery shopping, my back was achy, my hands were numb (and makes picking up things and pushing the trolley difficult, and also holding my phone which has my shopping list) and then suddenly I get heartburn. I realised I soon might need hubby to accompany me to shop (even though I know he dislikes shopping). I admit, I felt some frustration then. Towards the end when I cooked dinner that night, I asked hubby to take over because my hands were hurting. I sat down and could feel my feet were tired. For a few seconds, self-pity filled my mind. "How long more do I have to go through this?!" Very quickly though, I recalled I had a smooth first trimester. If I were very tired and throwing up all the time, I think I'd have felt a lot worse. I thank God for that, thank God for what I am going through now. I don't blame baby for the cause of these, especially when he is an answered prayer. I don't blame God or anyone. It helps to be thankful and learning what is "to be thankful in all circumstances". This is probably training me for the harder part - caring for the baby after he is born. Let's not think about that for now ;) I am also thankful for every movement I feel from the baby (even if they make me uncomfortable). Very honestly, I think I am still somewhat worried what if this boy isn't healthy or normal. For that, I have to just constantly present my worries and fears to my Lord and just trust Him. After all, this baby boy is really, God's child and I am only a steward to bear and care for him.

Celebrated my birthday quietly and leisurely with hubby yesterday. We watched 3 movies over about a 24 hour time frame - at the cinema watching my favourite martial arts guy Donnie Yen, a true life story movie at Gold Class (gift for us from sister-in-law and family) and a Singaporean army movie at home. We also had lunch at my favourite seafood place and free ramen dinner which is one of my favourite too. It is nice to have a weekend of chilling out which would be a great luxury after baby comes.

We are growing in excitement to meet this child and are thankful that family and friends are generally much more excited than us. We are thankful for the provision of many things that having this new family member requires. They were either given new or second hand, or us buying at a great discounted price. For now, we have a long way to go to sort through our things to make room for baby and deciding on a name that we both like for him. I know these few weeks would come and go really quickly... :)

Little Glimpse Into Parenting

(A backdated entry)
At the Mother's Day weekend a few weeks ago, my nieces B & C stayed over on Fri so that her parents could go for a seminar on Sat morning. I brought the girls to Macgregor State School's Mayfest since hubby was volunteering with SES at that event. The girls had fun, had their first fairy floss and their first at a school fair. They also had a go on the merry-go-round. It was a great morning out.

We went back home for a small lunch and by then, I was very exhausted (later realised that I was going to be ill with a gastro bug) and hurried C to finish drinking her Chinese medicine (for her hives) so that I can have a short nap. I could hardly keep my eyes opened by then. The girls wanted to do some craft so I took out a stash of craft materials to keep them occupied while I took (what was supposed to be) a cat nap, and instructed them that they need to have a nap after completing craft. In my half drowsy state, I took a nap upstairs on my bed. Somewhere in my sleep, I could hear the screams and laughter the girls made. B at one stage, came to me to ask me if they could use the glue. I told her when the glue was and she helped herself with it. As they played, I realised that they were stomping up and down the stairs and also playing in the guest bedroom upstairs (where they slept by themselves in the room without us for the first time the night before). In my weariness, I could not pick myself up to get up and since they sounded like they were having a good time, I somehow uttered a prayer that God will keep them safe while they played (told them several times to be careful at the stairs) and I have to trust God to take care of them for that moment because I just couldn't get out of bed...

 Not sure how long later, I barely woke up, went to the room, told them firmly that they have to stop playing and get a bit of rest/nap. I closed the door behind me, in my mind thinking that they will be safe and went back to bed to lie down a bit. A few mins later, B came to my bedside and said "C didn't sleep and made a mess of herself with lotion and cream". I immediately jumped out of bed, feeling anger brewing within me and also trying to tell myself to be self-controlled. In the room, I saw C sitting on the carpeted ground, with a bottle of hand sanitiser in her hands and her face, arms and legs were white and covered with calamine lotion. Some lotion also spilled onto the carpet. I wasn't sure if I should laugh (she looked really funny and cute) or be angry with her. I quickly decided I should be angry with her. I carried and took her and put her in the bathtub, reprimanded her and left her there as a form of isolation while I sort out the mess she created. In my mind, I was thinking how tired I already was, and that they made such a mess and I was also tight for time to bath them before I take them out to meet their parents for dinner. I also questioned B about the incident in an unhappy but with controlled anger (at least I thought so). Apparently B was trying to sleep/rest on the bed. C went on to play and woke B up with her noises and then B saw the mess and came to inform me. I had a firm talk with C (while she was still in the bathtub), trying to let her know that she did wrong by playing with something she should not have, created a mess (and also throwing some of my books all over the room) and not obeying what I instructed her earlier, to stop playing and rest up. I had to be clear with myself and with her that I was upset about the disobedience most of all and not let my inconvenienced situation (tired and having to clean up the mess after them) be the reason and fuel for my anger. C was quite stubborn and refused to say sorry and was somewhat unrepentant. Anyway, due to the lack of time, I eventually bathe them and took them out, etc.

Reflecting through the incident, I realised how much more angry and irrational I could potentially get but I didn't. Praise God for that and that I did not lash out on them in a disastrous manner (I am pretty sure I am capable of that, especially if I have to deal with this on a more regular basis and for that, I'm glad I'm not a/their mum!) I also realised that I would not be as upset if I was not tired. The girls would not have been so bored that C was playing with the creams and lotions if I was spending time with them. They would have rested up earlier if I had not taken a nap. If I hadn't been unwell, I won't be napping and be able to have enough time to bath them and leave the house. God was good, He did take care of them - it was only a mess of lotions and books. The girls did not fight, injure each other or injure themselves. B was obedient to my instruction to rest when I told her to. And really, the girls were not very naughty. They only appear 'naughty' because I was inconvenienced and at one stage, I was thinking why can't they be more understanding that I was tired and unwell and not give me extra 'trouble'. Really, the girls have been really good by entertaining themselves, playing and did not disturb me much, nor insisted that I do craft or play with them. They have also heeled my constant advice to be careful with the stairs and not injure themselves. They have been really, quite good by themselves. I am so thankful for the Lord's protection over them. This is an isolated incident, in case you think I'm a bad babysitter by letting my nieces play by themselves while I napped :p It has also taught me how to be upset in a controlled and rational manner. Parenting, in particular, Christian parenting is certainly not easy, to teach and model God's love, wrath and forgiveness towards us. But our Lord will provide us with the necessary grace to do so when the time comes.

An Encouraging Testimony

A good friend was sharing with me about this man, Nick Vujicic. She showed another of his video to her 4/5 yo daughter to encourage her to not be lazy but use her hands and feet as God has given them for her use.

God loves you and He hasn't forgotten your pain, hasn't forgotten your family. Maybe when you watch this interview, you compare my suffering and your suffering and that's not where hope is, in knowing someone else, in your opinion, is suffering more than you. But that is not where hope is. Hope is in the name of God, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Hope is when you compare your suffering with the infinite and immeasurable love and grace of God.

Isaiah 40:31 says "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will not run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I don't need my circumstances to change. I don't need arms and legs. I need the wings of the Holy Spirit. And I am flying, because Jesus is holding me up. Don't give up on God, because God will not give up on you.

I am totally moved at God's work in Nick's life, moved by His love, His power and amazing ability to enable (whom we perceive as) a handicap to be completely whole in his soul and totally glorifying God in His life.

World's Strictest Parents

It was interesting to watch reality tv show "World's Strictest Parents" on tv last night. 2 rebellious aussie teens were sent to a SG 'strict' family to live with them for a few days.

Watch the video here.

At the end of the day? It sounds like all teens in SG wants out of studying hard is to enter a good university.... whilst it might be true for a big majority of them, this is not all true for all of them. And mind you, there are also a number of out-of-control, rebellious and dysfunctional teens in SG too! This is just a sinful world, isn't it?

Babysitting A 6 Week Old

(photo taken using my mobile phone) She looks a lot like mummy here but she usually looks more like daddy

Last Friday, hubby and I offered to babysit our 6 wo (week old) niece tonight while her parents go out for dinner to celebrate their 4th wedding anniversary. It was quite an experience!

Bub just visited the doc that afternoon for her routine check up. Because of that, she lost her usual routine and one feed. Just before my SIL and hubby went out, she breastfed bub. And the story was that bub should fall asleep very quickly after her feed if she has had enough to keep her full. Of course we were also given instructions on how to watch out for her spews, changing nappies, warming up cold breast milk, how she will feel secure, etc.

When SIL left, bub was still awake... and after a while, she cried and wailed real bad. No matter what I did, did not help in settling or pacifying her. And I'd say that I am generally confident and quite good at handling and caring for bubs. It did not scare me but I just wonder how else I can stop a wailing bub. I figured that she could be hungry and true enough, she was eagerly sucking and licking my finger knuckle when I put it in her mouth. we warmed up 30ml of milk and fed her, which she drank up fairly quickly. It seems like she was still hungry and so we gave her another 30ml soon after. But her eyes were still quite wide awake and she was supposed to be sleeping!

Bub soon began her cries after she stared blankly for some time. I knew that she was really tired but surprised that she did not sleep no matter how I carried her, cuddle her, sing to her, etc. I decided to ring her parents up to ask if I should give her more milk. Just as I was on the phone, hubby carried her... and soon after, she somehow fell asleep as I warmed up a 60ml feed for her! Well we thought to let her sleep in hubby's arms until she is soundly asleep before we put her down in her cot. We reckoned she only slept for about 15 minutes at the most and she woke up and began to cry again. I quickly fed her with 60ml milk which she gobbled up in no time. And guess what? She is still awake!

By then, she'd have drank 120ml of milk... but it did not require help to make her drowsy to sleep. All these while, she'll cry and wail and stop for a bit and repeat the cycle again. I thought I will give her another 40ml milk... but it did not quite work. In the last 30 minutes before her parents got home, I was sitting on the nursing chair, singing to her and rocking her (even though I generally do not think children should be rocked too much) to try to settle her cries. I found out that if I pop my finger knuckle into her mouth, she will stop crying and she really sucked and licked it pretty vigorously. I suppose that is why pacifiers or dummies worked and helped to settle babies. That also tells me that she is still hungry but I thought I will wait for her mummy to come home to feed her...

My SIL finally returned home and went to feed her immediately. They must have thought that I was traumatised by the experience but really, I was not. If I knew that she was that hungry, I would have fed her a lot at the beginning. The staggered feeds did not satisfy her as she required a good feed at one go. Maybe that was why she was unsettled throughout the 3 hours. But well, my SIL just fed her to almost a full feed before she left and hence I only gave her some later as a supplement. The fact that she missed a feed earlier in the day probably explains why she was really hungry. Well, at least I know that her parents would have done similar to what and how I have handled her.

The night's experience rendered me tired and my back and arms were aching from all the carrying her. Hubby had a true experience of a crying-non-stop baby. Her wails sound soft but when you are carrying her, her wails can be pretty deafening! This gave us a glimpse of how life will be like when we have our own children. I think we recognised that we will have more arguments and quarrels and being impatient with each other at those stressful moments. Well, at least we know that it will probably happen and gives us a chance to be prepared and talk about it now while we are still sane!

But otherwise, it was a great experience to babysit and we would not mind doing it again :)

Hubby with bub and watching tv at the same time

Managing A Grouchy 2-Year-Old

My 25-month-old niece Belle just got promoted to 姐姐 (big sister) with the birth of her 妹妹(younger sister) Chris. As with most 2-year-olds, this is the time where they are able to say some words but at times, unable to fully express and communicate their emotions and thoughts well. This results in them getting extra clingy to their parents or caregivers and are generally more grouchy and moody. If their mummies are pregnant with no 2 at this time, they will naturally feel jealous and not used to having someone else share their parents' attention. Yet this is also the best time as they learn new things and it is such a joy to see them grow :)

On her day 5 of being 姐姐, my SIL G and I decided to take Belle out for a bit since we both don't work on Fridays and also to allow my MIL to bring my BIL for a doctor consult. The moment Belle got into the car and realised that my MIL wasn't gonna come along, she started to cry her eyes out. I sat beside her in the car and tried to pacify her. I placed my hand on her tummy and told her to calm down, stop crying and listen to me. It was really difficult... but when I started singing "Jesus loves me this I know", she stopped crying. But when I stopped singing, she went on crying again. Soon after, she stopped and I could tell her that we are gonna be seeing some animals and then we will go hospital to visit mummy, daddy and 妹妹.

Belle had a good time at Pet City, where we saw heaps of fishes, birds, tortoises, dogs, cats, etc. Belle was a bit better then, even though she did not smile much... but she began to speak and is willing to take photos with the fishes so that she could show mummy the photos and tell her what she saw with us. I think all kids like to see animals and pets...

姨姨 G with Belle and the fishes

Belle and her new friends - tortoises!

After the one hour we spent at Pet City, we went to Sunnybank Plaza for some morning tea. Ask Belle and she would say she is going to "Sunnybank!". At the carpark whilst waiting for a lot, she saw the pillar nearby on her left and said "G!", which was actually "G1" written on the pillar. She looked to her right and she said "F". She impressed G and myself that she knew, recognised and made known to us that she knows her alphabets.

Belle enjoyed the egg tart and taro cake and she was happy that she managed to have her favourite bubble tea (because it is sweet!). I hope she realised that it really wasn't that bad but really fun to go out with her favourite aunties. She was a lot more readily happy and okay for people to bring her out in the past. But I think she is growing up now and ever changing in her character/personality. She is such a dear... Even though she now has a 妹妹 and a cousin 妹妹coming soon (by winter), she is still our dear first born, eldest and a dear to the Wong family.

"cheese!" This is how she takes photos now, except that she can't smile here because she has food in her mouth

Family Legacy

Hubby's grandma was called home to be with the Lord last Wednesday. She was 91 of age. I first met ah ma (I think) when I visited my then-boyfriend in Brisbane. Known to everyone and to me, she was a lovely old lady with beautiful white hair and a really warm smile. Since I moved slightly over more than a year ago, I have had opportunity to spend 2 of her last birthdays with her.

Ah ma's birthday celebration in 2007

Ah ma's 91st birthday celebration in 2008

My impression of ah ma was that she was simple, humble, contented and does not like to impose on others, even though it is her own children/family. You may read her eulogy on hubby's blog. At the funeral service, my FIL also spoke about her. One thing that impressed on my mind - ah ma don't want to live in a big house. She is happy and contented to live in any house so long as the roof does not leak. After her husband passed on some 10 years ago, she'd rather live by herself in a retirement village because she does not want to impose on any of her 6 children and be a 'guest' at their places. She spends her time every day praying for every one of her children and their spouses, grandchildren and their spouses and great-grandchildren by name. One of the fond memories when her children were young, was that they often lie close to her after dinner and she will read them bible stories and pray with them under the stars... and would often, sing her favourite hymn "Jesus is all the world to me".

Jesus is all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all;
He is my strength from day to day, without Him I would fall.
When I am sad, to Him I go, no other one can cheer me so;
When I am sad, He makes me glad, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, my Friend in trials sore;
I go to Him for blessings, and He gives them over and over.
He sends the sunshine and the rain, He sends the harvest’s golden grain;
Sunshine and rain, harvest of grain, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, and true to Him I’ll be;
O how could I this Friend deny, when He’s so true to me?
Following Him I know I’m right, He watches over me day and night;
Following Him by day and night, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, I want no better Friend;
I trust Him now, I’ll trust Him when life’s fleeting days shall end.
Beautiful life with such a Friend, beautiful life that has no end;
Eternal life, eternal joy, He’s my Friend.

This has made hubby and I reflect on the legacy that she has left behind... You know how they say that first generation Christians are live God-fearing lives but their second and third generations seem to be 'less godly' or may not even know Jesus? Ah ma and ah gong (whom I have only seen in photos) have been really faithful to God and completed their race with perseverence (ah gong was the 'founder' of the Chinese Methodist Church when he migrated to Brisbane after pastoring a church in Sarawak). My in-laws are also very faithful and godly disciples of Jesus. With this, hubby and I are motivated and prayerful that we will also be godly and faithful parents to our children (God-willing) that they too will know Jesus and that their children and grandchildren and all generations after will also know Jesus (Psalm 78:1-8).

Ah ma, thanks for everything you have left behind. Farewell and see you soon in heaven!

Baby Thots

When I was 7, mummy gave birth to my (then baby) brother. So from 7, I was expected to learn how to take care of him and my (then) 4-year-old sister together. I remembered that it was rather fun, carrying a baby, feeding him, playing with him. When he was older, I walk him to kindergarten. When I was maybe about 10, mummy began to babysit my neighhour's children. In the period of about 5 years, she babysat 2 children. Being the eldest of the family, I had then helped mummy to mind my siblings and the child that mummy babysat.

So it seems like those skills came in useful. I was never afraid to carry babies, infants, nor scared by their cries (I only felt sorry for them when they cried really badly - red face, tears all over their faces, etc) I know how to burp babies after their milk feed, how to carry them to support their necks, how to pat them to sleep, how to change their nappies, fold their nappies (in those days, we used cloth nappies).

Yesterday, I had my taste of motherhood babysitting my niece, the 16-month-old Belle. Her parents were working and so I helped my MIL mind her while she went for evergreen fellowship. I have taken care of Belle before but yesterday, I take care of her for a stretch of 5-6 hours by myself. I bathed her, changed her, took her to the nearby park for a walk, watched tv with her, carried her to sleep, fed her lunch, played with her, talked to her, etc.... it was really tiring physically, but really rewarding and satisfactory. I can't imagine how I would have felt if it were my own child...

Belle is a really easy child to take care of. She is really sensible even at this age. She is starting to learn how to speak new words, both English and Chinese words. Right now, she can say "pa pa", "ma ma", "mum mum" (means to eat), "gai gai" (means to shop), "pooh bear", "bear bear", "baby", "na na" (means banana), "花" (flower), "bird", "pretty", "画画" (means to draw) There are many other words that she cannot speak but you know that she understands what you are telling her. E.g. if you say "let's go watch tv", she will walk you to where the tv is". It is really amazing how children knows things even though you don't teach them. God is really good at His creation, isn't it? And to think that we are created in His image.

Belle on the slide in a small park nearby. She smiles just like her mummy, my SIL

She was really good and easy to take care of. I wished my own children will be like her!

And yes I woke up with achy biceps and back today :p What a good workout for the day!

Parenting - Teenage Years

I was being engaged into a converation this morning. Some doctors were lamenting how their teenage or adult children are/were rebellious... whether girls are more rebellious than boys.

Doctor A: There! Ask her (me) if girls are more rebellious than boys
Me: Not really, I still think generally boys are more rebellious
Doctor A: Are you that naughty and rebellious when you were younger?
Me: Of course not! I was a good girl, 乖 girl
Doctor B: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah! You can go ask my mum :)

Well I think I had been generally quite a good girl in my teenage years. By God's grace, I did not mix with bad company with whom I could have very well ended up as a "McDonald's kid" or "Centrepoint kid" (at my time, a "McDonald's kid" means that you hang out at McDonald's after school and they usually carry the tag of being a juvenile, smoker, poor in studies, etc)

Amidst the 7-8 doctors who had children who were at least in their teenager years or even older than me, they were exchanging stories of how their children were/are doing badly in their studies (because they were lazy and not because they are academically poor), spending money excessively, picked up smoking, etc. In one example, he sent his son to Australia to study. In his first year there, he spent $100,000!! After the first year, he took his son to his clinic to sit down with him for one whole day. He purposely chose a day where he did not have any patients. From there, his son understood that money does not come easily even though his dad is a doctor. Subsequently, his expenditure was down to $25,000 per year.

I gave a comment that if they want to understand their children more, get to know them and the friends whom they hang out with. Invite their friends over, talk to them and know how they are like. In that way, parents can know why their children behave in a certain way and at least to be knowing what kind of influence the friends have on their children. Every teenager would undergo peer pressure and friends would be very important to them. Doctor A said that I sounded like I am very experienced! But of course I actually speak as the capacity of a child. After all, who am I to be 'experienced' when I am young enough to be their child?!

In the 10-15 minutes I was standing there, I felt like telling them one thing - it is ultimately the parents' responsibility to educate/teach/discipline their children. Teachers can help only that much. How your children turn out to be, is reflective of how you have been as parents. God gave parents the mandate to teach him/her in the ways of the Lord, to bring him/her up to know Christ. Even if the parents are not believers of Christ, the responsibility of teaching and educating moral values still remained.

Seeing how some of my friends parent their children, I have been impressed with how some of them teach them. At the end of the day, parents can teach the children but they cannot totally control what they would do and think. Godly parenting has to have godly wisdom and also total trust and dependance on Christ for the person that he/she will turn out to be.

Crying Baby

It was nice to see how God changed J from a person who seemed so arrogant and proud (my first impression years ago), to someone who is humble, teachable and caring and from someone who cannot imagine having babies, she is now enjoying motherhood to a 5-month-old KK (this are the real initials of the baby, unlike baby kiki ;))

J asked if I could babysit KK today, so that she can celebrate K's birthday by having dinner out with him. I immediately agreed to it! KK is a cute baby and besides I can understand how the couple would really appreciate and enjoy the quality time spent without the baby. They've not been out alone for the last 4-5 months...

I equipped myself with things that I could spent my time with. KK was supposed to be sleeping through the night until her parents come back home. I arrived to the home and was given a short crash course on how to make milk for baby, how to feed her and how to comfort her if she were to cry. I was quite confident and didn't think much about it. KK was supposed to be sleeping and besides I've had some experience in babysitting in my early teenage years. My mum worked as a babysitter whilst caring for the 3 of us at home. Being the oldest child, I have helped mum to care for the baby too - feed him/her (there were 2 babies she had cared for. Not at the same time but after the baby girl's mum decided she can take care herself, my mum took up another baby boy to babysit in the day), burp baby, change diapers, coax baby to sleep, play with baby...

5 minutes after J left the house with hubby, KK started to make some noise which sounded a little like she was crying. I could hear her over the baby monitor. I allowed her to continue making noise a little while with the hope that she might just continue sleeping. But soon, I think I better have a look at her. In the dark of the room, I could see KK's eyes opened. I comforted her by rubbing her tummy. After a while, it doesn't work and so I had to carry her up. She continued to cry intermittantly. As soon as I brought her out of her bedroom, she stopped crying. KK looked at me, probably trying to figure out who is this auntie carrying her and talking to her. She was so cute :) I put her down beside me while I tried to check my email. She just continued to be quiet and looked at me and the computer. I could even chat with KK's aunt (J's cousin) online! After about 15 minutes, KK began to suck her fingers... indication that she is hungry. So I went to make 30 ml of milk for her as instructed. But the fussy little KK quite refused to drink and preferred her thumb, fingers and all. She began to cry a little more and I tried to pacify her using many methods - sing to her, play music for her, carry her and walk around the house, checked her diapers, tried to feed her again, stood by the window to distract her with other kids playing downstairs, play her toys with her.... all these worked in their little own ways and short moments. It seemed anything I did still failed to distract her nor make her drink milk, although I knew her cries were to tell me that the poor girl is hungry. Poor KK wailed until her eyes filled with tears and her face was red....

Finally, J came home after 1.5 hours. And of course KK stopped crying upon seeing her mother and after having J fed her. Boy, this 57cm girl who probably weighs 7-8 kg had caused my arms to be aching after all the carrying!! Now I know how mothers train their biceps! KK smiled at me when I told her how she made me trained my biceps without me having to go to the gym. She seemed to be delighted to have helped me work out those muscles of mine. I wonder if she wouldn't mind me to accompany her again the next time when her parents go out without her..... ;) This doesn't deter me from babysitting her in future :)

(No photos of KK was posted up because she is shy... and girls should be taught modesty from young :P)

Motherhood

Motherhood is a special state and a marvellous feeling. Nope I am not a mother (as yet). Recently one of my friends had given birth to a baby girl. I was very encouraged and happy to see J's growth and changes - from a strong and perfectionistic woman, to a more humble, godly woman, from a state where she could not see herself being a mother, to a mother now. I am very glad and encouraged to see her growing to love her daughter and being accustomed to the motherhood lifestyle and realising the joy of being a mother. Thank God for changing J and I myself have been very ministered by her in many ways.

There has been many newborns around me amongst my peers and some others are pregnant. There was even once I went shopping with 2 preggers. It was interesting to learn which stretch mark cream is better and cost-effective, how the babies are growing in their different trimesters, the various encounters in their pregnancy stages. My mum used to do baby-sitting when I was younger. As a primary school kid then, I learn how to fold diapers, burp babies, feed babies, rock them to sleep on the sarong sling, etc. Today, I even learn a new tip on how to rid milk rash on baby's face!! Its amazing to see how babies have their own temprement and character even though they are a couple of months old.

It is amazing to see the role of mothers that God had made women to be. First, pregnant woman have to go through that 9 to 10 months of nurturing the baby in her womb. Next go through the tremendous pain in the delivery of the child. And that's not the end! The committment and love to care for the baby and take good stewardship of the baby given by God. I guess I cannot fully understand nor detail much of motherhood (since I'm not one myself). Yes I do look forward to that day where I will be a mother. I trust God will give me the ability to love and care for the kid.

Following my previous entry about Babies, I recently learnt that one of my friends had given birth to a baby who is not healthy and growing well (shall not elaborate much). It is painful for the parents yet it was good that they now managed to come to terms with it and realise it for themselves that our God is sovereign and we must continue to trust in Him and His good and perfect will. Don't we have to do that in whatever circumstances of our lives we live??

A Baby Is A Gift?

Was talking to my colleague about my old injury on my leg. The old injury has been there for some time. Apparently, the blood vessels near my ankle on the old injury site has probably caused the bruises to be there for a long time. My colleague, like me, are Thalassemic (A person with the medical condition of Thalassemia). It seemed like being Thalassemic could possibly be the reason why we bruise easily.

Thalassemia is an inherited blood disorder where the body is unable to manufacture normal haemoglobin (a protein found in red blood cell). Because of this, insufficient oxygen is carried to many organs in the body. My colleague and I are carriers of this recessive gene and we present the alpha type. Being a recessive gene carrier, nothing will happen to us. Except that when we marry a person who is also a carrier, there is a 25% chance that the baby will present with Thalassemia Major. This means that health problems like severe anaemia, heart failure, stunted growth, multi-organ failure can happen. Frequent blood transfusions also have to happen. Thalasemic Minor people like me, will not present any of the above. We are just a carrier of a recessive 'bad' gene.

My colleague's husband is not a carrier of the recessive gene. This makes me wonder what if my future husband is a carrier like me? I was told that genetic counselling is important for married-couples-to-be. But as a Christian believing that God is sovereign and in total control, I wonder if genetic counselling is really crucial? Well, it will help to prepare a couple mentally and financially if they were to know that the baby will be abnormal. Surely abortion will not be a consideration. I honestly do not know if it would be a good decision to not have babies of our own if my future husband is Thalassemic like me. After all, there is a 25% chance that baby will be Thalassemia Major! To totally trust God and carry on to conceive with a high chance of an abnormal child, or adopt other children? I do not know and I don't have an answer.

It is said that a baby is a gift from God. In that case, an abnormal baby is a gift from God too, isn't it? Another colleague of mine who only got married 2 years ago and now with a 11-month-old baby, was diagnosed with a tumour behind one eye. The tumour has to be removed and baby will be one-eye blinded. Just before the surgery, doctors found another smaller tumour in the other eye too. I just learnt that such this condition is genetic. My cousin had also given birth to a baby with his oseophageal tube incompleted. This means that baby cannot swallow food. Despite many surgeries since birth, baby had to leave this world. I know this sounds paranoid, but I do not know how I will be able to handle if my baby is born abnormal. Besides being spiritually challenged, all aspects of the parents' lives will be turned upside down. Will I blame God or thank God for giving me that baby?

It sounds kinda mellow here... sorry if I made you paranoid or saddened by the cases mentioned. Just sharing these thoughts and probably for us to consider if we would ever blame God one day (or still be able to stay faithful and thank God) if tragedies were to struck at our doorsteps....