Cha was my flower girl when I had my wedding celebration in Singapore. She wants to be a flower girl but she only wants to be MY flower girl and no one else's. She probably figured that she wants to be loyal to me. And so the old joke was that if I never got married, she will never get to be a flower girl. After the wedding, I (and her mummy too) told her that she can now address me as "aunty island" (as supposed to che che island. che che means "older sister"). However she refused and replied "No! You are always my che che island". I thought that was very sweet of her because I saw the place of me in her heart.
About one month after I moved to Brissy last year, Cha's mummy emailed me and told me that both of them were painting the ceramic Pooh Bear piggy bank that I gave Cha some time ago. As Cha was painting it, she told her mummy "Mum, seeing pooh bear just makes me feel like che che island is here with us. Won't you agree?"
Apparently, Cha has been telling her mummy a few times that she misses me. She knows that I am in Australia and I have spoken to her over the phone before. One time, earlier in the day before I rang her she told her mummy "Mum, I miss che che island. Tak boleh tahan (malay term meaning unbearable or "I cannot take it anymore!")"
The knowledge of cha, a 6-year-old girl missing me and thinking of me, really moved me. I don't know why I am not as moved when my family and friends in Singapore miss me. But when I know how much this girl miss me, I am moved (to tears) by her love for me and it really warms my heart knowing that. I suppose I did not expect a little girl to miss me that much. Now that she knows I will be going back to Singapore soon, she is so looking forward to see me.
As she knows that I will be back in about 2 weeks' time, she told her parents that she wants to go Sushi Teh with me only. Sushi Teh was our favourite hunt but I have never gone with her alone. It was usually with her parents too. She did not want hubby to come along this time and she feels bad about it. In her young and innocent ways, she told me "I don't want you to be my aunty island. I want you to be my che che island. If you bring uncle W, you cannot be che che island anymore..." Cha understood that I am married but do not understand that even so, I still love her and is her 'che che island'. Except that now we are miles apart, our relationship is still there but not very much the same. In some way she has accepted that I have moved on in life but in some way, she hasn't. She still has much memories of me in the past. She cried as she felt bad about not letting hubby coming along for lunch because she does not want me to feel sad, yet she cannot deny her innermost feelings that she wants me only. Sigh, this girl, sometimes it seems funny and she makes me laugh at her little girl's silly ways but really she is so real and genuine that laughing at her ways seem to then not take her feelings into consideration.
Cha will be going to start school in Primary One next year. I pray that as she grows up, she will be a fine young lady with her big genuine heart to love and be gracious to everyone. May others see Christ's love in her too.
4 other thoughts:
it really is a precious thing to be loved like this isn't it? :) but you haven't told what you will do - will Uncle W be left behind?! ky
yeah it is indeed precious :)
unfortunately, uncle W will not come along to lunch. it is difficult to negotiate with her otherwise, even though she is a really sensible girl. because she can not fully understand, i reckon it will be better for now to just indulge her wish and hopefully she will understand when she grows older. she just wants to be a 'baby' in my eyes. she reckons that when i have my own children, she won't be my baby anymore...
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