July 8, 2009

The Radical Christian

2 years ago, I blogged about Christians dating non-Christians. Most of my friends (mostly girls) who are dating non-Christians continue to date them. Some became Christians, some did not, some end up marrying the non-Christian. In all of these, my friends really struggled, some have struggled and some are still struggling...

Recently one of my friends, MSIC decided to move out of the place that she was living with her non-Christian boyfriend. MSIC has been dating him for 5 years. She decided to move out because she realise that it is not the right thing to do - to live with her boyfriend before they were married. MSIC has only been a Christian in the recent 1-2 years. MSIC eventually really did move out and their relationship took a turn for the worst. After a short period of time, they really ended the relationship.

MSIC was really heartbroken and is still coping with the loss of the relationship and singleness. But she knew that in God's eyes, moving out was the right thing to do and she wanted to obey and please God. For a fairly new Christian, I am surprised and very encouraged to see her seeking to please God and in her life, demonstrated that God is most important, more important than her 5-year boyfriend whom she was prepared to marry. I did not expect her to break up with her non-Christian boyfriend when she became a Christian. I don't think it is the right thing to do as well. It is different to the cases I know where the Christian decided to date a non-Christian, even though they have the full knowledge that they should not be. I am not unsympathetic to struggles of being single and being tempted to consider dating a non-Christian. I have gone through those struggles personally in the recent years until I met hubby. Nevertheless it cannot be an excuse to give in to temptation and date a non-Christian and hoping that he/she will one day become a Christian.

I pray that MSIC's ex-boyfriend will one day, be able to see and understand MSIC's decision and her testimony of loving Jesus over him (She and his family have been praying and trying to share the gospel with him for the past year or so). May he be curious enough one day, to find out the captivating reasons for MSIC to love this Jesus more than him. I can, only but praise God and the Holy Spirit for working in and through MSIC. She has really shown great Christian maturity and growth and I am privileged to be part of her continuing growth at this period of time. I thank God for allowing me to personally witness Him transforming one of His child. It is a great privilege.

I pray that MSIC will grow in her understanding of God's Word and learning more of how to live a life that is worthy of the gospel and that one day (God-willing), she will marry a godly and mature man who pledge to love her just as Christ loves her.

Postscript: Related article to read - "Myths about living together".

2 other thoughts:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm interested in your post and your thinking.. because you see, I am a non-christian, and I just can't fathom why the rationalising of introducing problems into an existing relationship instead of fixing and strengthening one.

I would like to understand why, as I am generally inquisitive about people and how they think, but if what i am writing offends you, please ignore me. I know I am just reading and drawing conclusions, and I don't know the whole story. But it's just my thoughts and rational if you care to read :)

first of all, they were dating for 5 years, and i'm quite surprised they didn't get married already.
secondly, when MSIC suddenly embraces religion and places christianity above the relationship in the last 1-2 yars then wouldn't there be underlying problems already? Because from my limited knowledge in Christianity,
there are different interpretations of the bible and I do understand your stand between christians and non-christians.
We are mutually exclusive, so to speak.

However, to me, MSIC is not mature and/or responsible enough to maintain a relationship leading to marriage.

A relationship is not just about MSIC, and I would say MSIC being heartbroken is wrong, because she made the decision to move out and firm up her relationship with god. So by right, she should not feel any loss for the relationship.

Anyway, I think there are many problems in life ahead, as an atheist, I rather just treasure what I have now, especially parents and immediate friends, be they muslims, christians, buddhists, asian, white, black.

island said...

hi anonymous, thanks for reading and leaving your comments.

for MSIC's story, there are of course, other details that I choose to omit, lest it becomes gossip. to answer your qns, MSIC became a christian some 2 years ago but it was a process that as she grew in her christian growth and knowledge of God, she realises it herself that it is not edifying for them to live together before marriage. Her intention was to move out and then live together only after they are married. And they do have some plans and preparations in their lives that indicate that they're heading that direction. Of course, MSIC is also finding it more difficult as her life goals change (because she is a christian) and it is very difficult to be with someone who does not love God the same as you do. Their r/s did not end because one is a christian and the other is not. There were other issues but the fact that MSIC chose the more difficult decision to move out and still wanting to maintain the r/s, that bold step amazes me.

MSIC may not be mature in some areas but not in the way that you may think she is. Everyone of us is still growing as we live lives. But for this bold decision, she did not do it out of impulse but of maturity. And of course, I still have not mentioned anything on the guy's part on how he dealt with it, etc. MSIC was not introducing problems to the r/s (although it seemed like it) and she is as concerned as anyone else to strengthen one. It showed her greater willingness to walk away from a mistake which she earlier did not know that it was.

Both parties make a r/s work or break. Both have the right to feel heartbroken for the loss but in this case, I can assure you that he is not the victim. That is all I should reveal.

I agree we definitely need to treasure the people we have on earth regardless of who they are.

Thanks anyway. I hope my reply does not confuse you. I sincerely hope that one day you will be challenged increase your knowledge of the truth of Jesus Christ and know this God personally :)

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