May 8, 2009

The Singleness Issue

Been thinking about the issue of singleness lately since I read what C said in her blog about her being conscious not to bring up about her pregnancy for the sake of her friends who might be struggling with falling pregnant (both single and married women).

I recall that when I was single and as the years went by, my struggle of being single and wanting to get married and have children increased, even more when almost all my friends around me were getting married and having children. I tried to recall how I struggled when I learnt about another friend having a boyfriend, gotten engaged, getting married and pregnant. As much as I wish to get married, I think I still enjoyed and want to know the changes and updates in my friends' lives. I don't think I have ever blamed God nor any one else "Why is she getting married and I am not?". I think some of the greatest struggles was when I attend friends' weddings, but sometimes I don't struggle as much at weddings (and to think I have even coordinate quite a number of weddings, the highest being 3 in the same year). Of course there were times that I pitied myself and enjoyed wallowing in it... but other times I marvel at God's timing and know that He will prepare me for my future spouse.

Reading this recent article "Making Singleness Better" on this month's Briefing, reminded me and made me think further about our (hubby and I) ministry to singles in our midst. I think we can do more to encourage singles and be sensitive to make them feel loved and acceptable. This means a mindset change and changes in our attitudes, our actions and the words we speak, so that we reflect the love of Jesus.

Relating to that same article above, I particularly like the author's seemingly-contradicting encouragements for single people to (1) not take the advantages of all the freedoms of being single and (2) do take advantages of the freedoms of being single. Definitely, if I were single and unmarried now, I would rethink the way that I lived my life, e.g. I could have been more frugal and prudent with the money God gave me. But anyhow for now, I am thankful for God's providence which also makes me (us) more dependent on Him.

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