Here Is My Name Card.... ??!!

My name card now says "Name: Ms xxx. Title: Idle Expert. Company: My Home." My last name card expired almost a month ago. Although I am not working now, there are other things that keeps me busy and I am enjoying it... :)

I had dinner with a few of my college mates tonight, out of which 2 of them are my closest girl friends. Other than the 2 of them, I am not quite in contact with the rest. We had a good time to catch up with each other, get to know each other's 'other halves' over great Italian gourmet food. I am glad to see a few of whom I had fun, worked and served as a student leader in the Student's Council. This was the name cards of some of them...

1. Head of branding department at a big publishing company.
2. Hubby of 1 is a boss of a happening chain of local ice cream joints.
3. BF of 1 is the chief head of a big time local vehicle company.
4. 1 is a psychologist.
5. Found out that one of my college classmate is managing/heading a foreign group which owns 3 villa resorts in one of the nearby tourist island.
6. 1 being a consultant to a company that acquires and merges other companies.
7. 1 being a Marcom Manager of a local gourmet restaurant chain.

Yeah I do kinda feel a bit out of place... at moments we had conversations that I am not used to in that gourmet restaurant setting. I mean I didn't know what "truffles" were (other than the chocolate ones I have eaten). Okay I was like a country bumpkin, not knowing what that was until I tried it. The chef came to our table and personally gave us a generous serving of black truffles onto our main course. And my... it tasted very well with beef steak!! (Tried some from my friend because I had pasta) Even so, my pasta tasted better with the truffles garnishing too!

It seemed like many of my college peers my age had made it big time out there in the society... while I am hardly progressing... Do I regret? Yeah I was tempted to, but no, I don't. I really don't. I think I prefer my simplier lifestyle and shall not covet otherwise. Doesn't matter if I don't have truffles garnishing, caviar as appetizer or foie gras and the like. What is most important to me is God and my loved ones around me. With that, I am contented. And I shall continue to learn contentment, for it is so easy for anyone to be tempted to covet and desire after wealth and things on this earth. Do I pursue heavenly eternal riches or earthly temporal riches? Do I prefer to be fed with solid spiritual food or food that is yummy to eat and later gets digested out (pardon me for the illustration)?

Thank God for making me who I am and I am happy even though I am not a 'big-timer' in the society. I just wish to be a 'big-timer' to God my Father, my (future) loving husband and my (future) lovable children. I think that is enough and I pray I will remain contented in this manner... and looking forward to gain the riches promised in heaven.

[Postscript] However I do admit that I was the one that wished/hoped for an engagement ring of solitaire diamond as supposed to cubic zirconia. Maybe diamonds are just girl's best friends... well I know that was just a marketing tag line. Yeah I do have a soft spot for the glittering gem. Partly it was also a little girl's dream of her prince charming proposing to her with a solitaire diamond ring.... Ok I know I am a sinner... but but... I have also asked and is satisfied with a small carat stone ;p ok ok I know that I can't bring that one with me to heaven... :p

Overdue Bits & Pieces

There was a silence of about 3 months which I didn't blog. Many things had happened... [be warned that this is a long post]

1. Uncle suddenly passed away mid March;
2. Grandma also quite unexpectedly passed away in April;
3. I left my 6-years' job;
4. I went for some romantic dinner;
5. A mountain top experience;
6. Now I am preparing for a new future and the move....

Since late last year and through to the first quarter of this year, I had been quite stressed up at work, mostly with one person who made life difficult for me. The stress showed up in my body. That was why I had digestion/stomach problems and other symptoms which my body signaled to show me that something wasn't right. Thank God for designing a wonderful systematic body system that alerts us when our body is not right. This calls for us then, to be doing something so that we won't 'ill treat' the bodies that God gave to us.

Uncle's sudden death created quite a stir. He was single and has had kidney failure for past 22 years. Despite that, he was generally well physically. He woke up in the middle of the night feeling breathless and within minutes, stopping breathing and went to be with the Lord. One thing to be thankful is that he died a quick death but it was a sudden one to the entire family. For the next few days then, my family and extended family went through the wake and funeral. In particular, I was much involved in the wake/funeral/aftermath. Besides me, uncle was the only other Christian in the extended family. The proceedings and handling of his funeral fell on my shoulders. I am glad that my family trust me so much to be handling everything (when there are other elders around) but yet I was very stressed up by having to see to almost every little thing and having to be put in a position of responsibility. I suppose I have been too tired of having to always been looked at, to bear responsibility and so I easily get stressed up by it.

However uncle's death also did us some good. There were opportunities for gospel to be shared. At least my family got to see how a Christian funeral is like and why it is a time to rejoice when a Christian dies, although there is a grief for the person's departure from our lives on earth. At times like these, sometimes you see the true side of people - most showed much love, few others showed their sinfulness.

Less than one month later, grandma (mother of my deceased uncle) suddenly fell down and passed away the next day. Grandma was not a Christian. When she was alive, she had declined believing in Jesus. She thinks that the younger generation (like me) can accept but she don't need to. Anyway, the Buddhist wake/funeral was totally different from a Christian one. I am sure my entire family could tell the difference. For one, we the ones living on earth need not do anything to appease the dead nor worship them as we only worship one God and only need to please Him. Whereas for non-believers, they have the notion that they need to do certain things, burn certain things (for the dead) to appease the dead and to 'ensure that those who are alive would be blessed'. I am glad that Jesus's one death died for all. Through Him, everything has been done for and we need not do anything else, except to live holy and changed lives as a follower of Christ (of course this ain't that easy...)

I was less stressed at grandma's wake/funeral. Main reason was that I needn't be looked upon to handle things... because I don't know what to do for Buddhist funerals! I am also thankful for W who was around to help out in many big and small ways... and to provide moral, physical and spiritual support. And one of the greatest thing was to know and see the support and love I got from fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in church, my colleagues and my closest friends. For one, my DG gave up bible study time on a Wednesday night to attend the wake. They did this to render support and love to me and my family. I didn't expect that to happen but I thought that should that other than strictly studying God's word, they put God's love in action - to be there for a sister in Christ in need. (For the record, my DG did 2 studies at the following week's gathering :p)

Because of grandma, my holiday trip to KL and Sabah was postponed... so also was someone's plans to pop THE question ;) How could I say No to a man who took 1 month's no pay leave to spend time with me, who brought me out to a romantic dinner in cable car and with roses and paper stars and a poem and a diamond ring on his knees AND a sincere and earnest heart? But of course I wasn't that shallow... there were more reasons for me to say "yes" ;p

Due to so many things that had happened, I decided I needed a break and cancelled my planned climb of Mount Kinabalu with W and his friends. We went to Sabah and although it was delayed by a few days, it was a much needed and well-deserved rest. While the others attempt the climb, I stayed at the Kinabalu Park by myself for about 30 hours. I spent the time praying, reading and journaling in the cool air of the mountain and viewing the splendid creation of God every moment... There were a few moments where I thought I was mildly depressed... I came to realise that too many things have happened in a short time unexpectedly and so I was totally unprepared and therefore very easily stressed up over the smallest thing. I had to learn to accept that I am grown up. I need to face life situations as an adult and handle them as an adult. God has given me a protected and sheltered life. I am reminded of my sinfulness, my need for God and it challenged my trust and dependence on Him. I broke down, I praised God, my thoughts and my emotions just flowed overwhelmingly. I thank God for revealing to me many things - why I was like that, how I have been, what I will be facing. He also reminded and assured me of His immense love, His great mercy and His everlasting grace. God has really been really good to me in my life. He has given me much blessings. In fact, I already have every spiritual blessing possible! There is a time for every season in our lives. God is sovereign over all things and over our lives. I thank God for the beautiful time I spent with Him, in which I termed it "my mountain top experience". Thank God for refreshing me with His Word and His Spirit... and His creation :)

Through it all, I also realised that I have not been praying enough for the salvation of my family and extended family. Other than praying, I also need to strive to live a good testimony and take every chance to share the gospel. I admit that it is not easy... sharing Christ with family is the most difficult because they have seen you at your worst. How do I let them understand that I am only but a sinner saved by grace?

These have been the reasons to my absence from blogging for 2 months. The 1 other month of absence shall be posted in another entry...

Fly With Me!

Fly Singapore fly!!

This would be something that would make me look forward to coming back to Singapore next year ;) (Will be operational from 1 March 2008) Each time I drive pass on the ECP expressway, I would see this under construction. The size of the wheel is simply WOW! (Ok, I have not seen the London Eye lah...)

Now if only this is available one year earlier... I could have the chance to ride on it in April that just went by... :p

The Unheeded Christ

I know I have been MIA (missing in action) for quite some time... in fact slightly more than 3 months. Give me some time, I will update and write a little more :)

Attended church camp last week. This is probably my last camp for some years to come :( Other than year 2000 where I was in Macau for a missions trip, I have been faithfully going church camps every year. This means that I have attended 7 church camps, out of which I was serving in the organising committee for... 6 years! Wow! Time flies!!

Don't know if its because of the above reason, this year's camp was really good for me. But I think more so because the theme talks (by David Cook) were very good - succinct, practical and challenging. Love your enemies, counting treasures in heaven and not on earth, how I have been living out the life of a believer of Jesus Christ, how I must live a radical life...

I shall leave more thoughts on another post. I encourage you to go download the talks to listen to. You can download them from HERE.