April 5, 2006

Girl Talk

Was having girl talk with a friend... Her response amuses me. The details of the conversation cannot be revealed but she was so amused by the girls' behaviour in a relationship that she could write it all in a book!

I am also kinda amused by our conversation. Made me recall some mass emails I receive which came in some powerpoint slides and one of the quotes relating to the word "Nothing" goes like this.....

Rules from the Male Side
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Words Women Use
"Nothing" - calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually ends with "fine".

Of course the above is meant to be kind of taken as a pinch of salt. It seemed like this is the way how man and woman behave in a relationship, or the common mindset of the mars and venus.

In an article "What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?", it tells the reader about the difference between biblical courtship and modern dating. For most Christians I know, they believe and understand that a man will court a particular woman because he believes it is possible that he could marry her, and the courtship is the process of discerning whether that belief is correct, as the motive in a relationship.

As for the mindset in a relationship, the author of the above article Scott Croft says that:

Selfishness is not what drives a biblical marriage, and therefore should not be what drives a biblical courtship. Biblical courtship recognizes the general call to "do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" (Phil. 2:3, NIV). It also recognizes the specific call that Ephesians 5:25 gives men in marriage, where our main role is sacrificial service. We are to love our wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her. That means loving sacrificially every day. Biblical courtship means that a man does not look for a laundry list of characteristics that comprise his fantasy woman so that his every desire can be fulfilled, but he looks for a godly woman as Scripture defines her — a woman he can love and, yes, be attracted to, but a woman whom he can serve and love as a godly husband.

In other words, modern dating asks, "How can I find the one for me?" while biblical courtship asks, "How can I be the one for her?"

The difference between a biblical mindset and the secular mindset: selflessness and selfishness. Selflessness or being other-person-centred mirrors Christ-likeness. That is how God loves us. Selfishness belongs to our sinful nature. This might be common knowledge for most of us. But in practice, it is difficult to always be selfless and being other-person-centred... I guess we are only able to do so by God's grace, by trusting and depending on Him.

Hmm, wonder if the book that my friend thought of writing may be the bestseller of the year?? Or will it be something that no publishing company would accept to print?? :P

0 other thoughts:

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