February 4, 2006

To Give or Not To Give Ang Bao

Reading Carpe Diem's entry on Memoirs of a Swinging Single reminded me of numerous similar encounters I have had this CNY season.

Scenario 1: 1st day of CNY part 1
Mum's oldest sister (my auntie) wished me CNY greetings and added that she hopes to see my boyfriend next year's CNY... “明年带一个‘手牵手’的给我看啦!”

Scenario 2: 1st day of CNY part 2
Went to church service in the morning. Everyone were doing the usual CNY greetings. As I was greeting one of my church elder, he went "Happy New Year! So how? Are you getting married this year?"

I know that this man is concerned for me. In the quickness of my answer, I went "I don't know! But are you prophesying something??" But of course I knew he was just probably trying to pull a fast one on me....

Scenario 3: 2nd day of CNY
Dad's cousin asked me if I have a boyfriend. After my honest reply of a No, she went on to ask why and if I was setting my expectations too high and if I were looking for the 5C-man. 5Cs being Cash, Condominium, Career, Credit Card, Car.

In my attempt to want her to not continue with the interrogation, I told her that 5Cs are not enough and I am looking for 10Cs. But of course she didn't get the point and went on to say things like "Aiyah, don't set too much expectations... find a good man will do...."

Scenario 4: 6th day of CNY
Uncle's family had dinner at my place. Before he went off, he told his son (my young cousin) to say goodbye to me and ask me when he can collect ang bao from me and if it will be next year? My answer to him was that he wait a longer time and probably he will get the chance to get it from my sister first.

Scenario 5: A few days before CNY
Spoke to one colleague on the phone. She asked me if I had any planned holidays this year. I told her that I might be going Australia twice for a wedding and a music conference and of course not forgetting my annual church camp.

"Hey, why is it that your holidays are always to Australia? Nowhere else in the world to travel to? You got boyfriend there, is it?" she went.

"Do I? How come I don't know? You know something that I don't know?" was my 'trying-to-act-blur' answer.

Worse thing is, when people ask my mum if I have a boyfriend, her answer will be "I don't know! Maybe she has but she don't want to tell me..."

Although it is not the case where I choose to be single, I also know the value of being patient until the time where God decides to change my gift of singleness to a gift of marriage. I always tell my mum that isn't it better that I marry the right man rather than marry early and marry the wrong man and suffer for the rest of my life? i.e. I should not rush into marriage just because, socially-speaking, that is the 'right' thing to do.

If anything, I am really thankful for the genuine concern of my family, relatives, friends and colleagues. I know of the many married friends whom I have coordinated weddings for or helped in, waiting for that one day where they can see me happily getting married and ever ready waiting for their turn to return the help that I have given to them. There were also some couples who arranged social get-togethers so that I can get to know Guy A and Guy B, etc... I find it very amusing also, to see how both my guy and gal friends can be so so so excited for me about the possibility of a potential man.... so excited for me that they can scream out in their excitement in the public and embarrass me... :) sometimes, knowing that I have friends like these who care for me seemed sufficient for me to be happy... even probably if God is not gonna do a gift exchange with me....

The only one person who doesn't wish for me to get married is probably my little friend Cha Cha. Even at 4 years old, she understands what is getting married. If you were to ask her, she will tell you that she won't like her favourite che che to get married. But of course this little bum is worried that I will love her less then now. Hmm, I wonder if she will ever consent to be my flower girl... :)

1 other thoughts:

quop said...

"so excited for me about the possibility of a potential man ... that they can scream out in their excitement in the public and embarrass me"

wow, can't imagine what pressure this potential man must face from ur frens leh... haha. but at least it sounds like u have good/caring frens who will help to ensure any potential is a good one :p

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