April 13, 2006

Girl Talk Two

Had a night of chatter catching up with watermelon girl. Girls' chatter - besides talking about men :P we also talked about ministry and relationships with other friends.

Watermelon girl shared with me an analogy that a male friend of hers told her. Imagine a couple trying to climb the hills. The man has their little daughter on his back, carrying her to climb the hills and the woman by herself. The woman, being worried for the safety of her daughter and husband, will remind her husband to be careful. She does it out of concern for both the husband and daughter. But for the husband, after repeated reminders, will tend to think that his wife should stop nagging and wonders if the reason for her constant nagging is because she doesn't trust him to take care of their daughter.

The analogy sounds quite apt to illustrate the different mindset of man and woman. Watermelon girl and I spoke about real situations that were similar to the situation above. Man from mars and woman from venus - true? The woman did it out of concern but the man reads a different message and begins to be fustrated. Of course this can happen in the reverse manner, say e.g. the husband comes home after work, feels tired and sits down in front of the tv to relax. Wife will probably get the idea that he doesn't care about her after a whole day of not seeing her. (Disclaimer: I am only stating general scenarios. It doesn't mean all men or all women are the same)

I read that famous book Men from Mars and Women from Venus some years back. It seemed that it was quite right when the different behaviours and responses of man and woman were painted out. Many of them seemed typical of a man and woman relationship. But it is also because of the differences that causes conflicts.

Well I guess we can still thank God for creating man and woman to be different. If they're the same, life would be boring - without differences and conflicts. Differences can be complementary and yet they can also cause conflicts. But resolved conflicts under God's hand, can grow and mature 2 persons in a relationship. I maintain that this is the most beautiful thing in a relationship :)

Watermelon girl and hubby-to-be are starting to pen their relationship down in a book. The idea is to record the things they learn in their relationship/marriage as they go along, rubbing shoulders, arguing, quarreling and the reconciliations... And some time later, the book can be useful for reflection and reminders of how God has saw them through and taught them in particular areas of their relationship. I pray for them that they will continue to depend on God for their relationship and marriage, to serve each other in humility and to love each other selflessly.

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