I'm so so tired after a 2-week packed of work and ministries. It felt like so many things had happened in 2 weeks.
My work's usually uneventful. But because of helping uncle last week, its something different that I don't normally do. I'm not complaining, really! But its really a joy and privilege that I can be of help to him. Another couple came for their routine gynaecological checkup and I was happy to be able to sit down during my office hours to catch up and be part of their journey to parenthood. Its both work and personal. Work - being there for my employer’s customers and helping the couple find a good Paediatrician. Personal - being there for my DG mates and the 2nd little one joining my DG family :)
Other ‘exciting’ things at my work was to undergo 2 days of training on “Innovation”. My new assistant also just joined us 3 days ago and I’ve lots to orientate her before I go on leave. All these occupied my entire week.
In the last 2 weeks, I led songs at service last Friday and again this entire weekend, spent time preparing to lead bible study, led the bible study, planned a wedding, practiced song to sing at friend’s wedding, attending potential leadership training... sometimes I feel like I’m a full-time staffworker. In my weakness and sinfulness, I have had thoughts of “Why do I have to serve all the time? Why aren’t there nobody else to do so?” I feel physically tired and hardly have time for myself or for other people. I admit I’m not indispensable, neither am I super capable that no one else can do it but me.
I was reminded of what I had learnt on the 1st session of PLT – that ministry involves toil and labour. What is ministry all about? It is about serving God’s people. I have ever served till I am burnt out. But I guess I have not regretted because I know that God’s people are ministered at the end of the day. And all these are only by His grace and strength. For example in the past week, after a weekful the previous week, I had to pick up myself again to prepare and to lead bible study, then select and confirm the songs to be sung this weekend, followed by music practice. I truly only had time to prepare my song-leading session on Saturday morning for Saturday afternoon’s service (and I had to do it in office since I was working that morning). I had no other time to prepare, not as compared to previously I would prepare days in advance and fine-tune at the last minute. I prayed and prayed many times, for Him to sustain me by His grace, to do all that by His strength so that I can be His instrument and people will be ministered to with the songs. I know that I have done all that only through Him and I am once again humbled because I am weak but He is strong.
Don’t misunderstand that I’m complaining about service. I am not. But I have been quite discouraged because I get the impression that I should not be spending too much time in church ministries that I don’t have time to help/minister in other forms. I am trying not to be too specific here lest I becoming finger-pointing. Sometimes I really feel misunderstood. But it really just coincident timing that things just happened together such that they all fall in the same period and I have to prioritize. And I’m not even considering time with family, with friends or for myself to factor in. I am talking about prioritizing my ministries, yet I feel misunderstood.
I was reminded that I should not be discouraged by the 1 or 2 people but instead be encouraged by the many who has supported me and cared for me. I cannot please everyone and if it happened that I get misunderstood, I can only pray that things would get better over time.
My work's usually uneventful. But because of helping uncle last week, its something different that I don't normally do. I'm not complaining, really! But its really a joy and privilege that I can be of help to him. Another couple came for their routine gynaecological checkup and I was happy to be able to sit down during my office hours to catch up and be part of their journey to parenthood. Its both work and personal. Work - being there for my employer’s customers and helping the couple find a good Paediatrician. Personal - being there for my DG mates and the 2nd little one joining my DG family :)
Other ‘exciting’ things at my work was to undergo 2 days of training on “Innovation”. My new assistant also just joined us 3 days ago and I’ve lots to orientate her before I go on leave. All these occupied my entire week.
In the last 2 weeks, I led songs at service last Friday and again this entire weekend, spent time preparing to lead bible study, led the bible study, planned a wedding, practiced song to sing at friend’s wedding, attending potential leadership training... sometimes I feel like I’m a full-time staffworker. In my weakness and sinfulness, I have had thoughts of “Why do I have to serve all the time? Why aren’t there nobody else to do so?” I feel physically tired and hardly have time for myself or for other people. I admit I’m not indispensable, neither am I super capable that no one else can do it but me.
I was reminded of what I had learnt on the 1st session of PLT – that ministry involves toil and labour. What is ministry all about? It is about serving God’s people. I have ever served till I am burnt out. But I guess I have not regretted because I know that God’s people are ministered at the end of the day. And all these are only by His grace and strength. For example in the past week, after a weekful the previous week, I had to pick up myself again to prepare and to lead bible study, then select and confirm the songs to be sung this weekend, followed by music practice. I truly only had time to prepare my song-leading session on Saturday morning for Saturday afternoon’s service (and I had to do it in office since I was working that morning). I had no other time to prepare, not as compared to previously I would prepare days in advance and fine-tune at the last minute. I prayed and prayed many times, for Him to sustain me by His grace, to do all that by His strength so that I can be His instrument and people will be ministered to with the songs. I know that I have done all that only through Him and I am once again humbled because I am weak but He is strong.
Don’t misunderstand that I’m complaining about service. I am not. But I have been quite discouraged because I get the impression that I should not be spending too much time in church ministries that I don’t have time to help/minister in other forms. I am trying not to be too specific here lest I becoming finger-pointing. Sometimes I really feel misunderstood. But it really just coincident timing that things just happened together such that they all fall in the same period and I have to prioritize. And I’m not even considering time with family, with friends or for myself to factor in. I am talking about prioritizing my ministries, yet I feel misunderstood.
I was reminded that I should not be discouraged by the 1 or 2 people but instead be encouraged by the many who has supported me and cared for me. I cannot please everyone and if it happened that I get misunderstood, I can only pray that things would get better over time.
I was reminded that although I serve God’s people, I serve to please Him only and not to please men nor myself. I should not thrive on the praises of people but honestly I am encouraged and even more so when I know that I did not do it by my own strength. I am thankful and praise God that there have been many accounts of people who had been a blessing to me over the weekend as I served. It can be as simple as a smile with a word of concern to ask how I am (especially when I was lined up with ministries from 8am to 4pm today). That in itself is encouragement to me and it had came from more than one person. I’ve also had people making sure that I have food and cared for my well-being. I’m touched by God’s love for me shown through these people. I am glad that I have been used as an instrument as people tell me how they had been ministered by the songs that we sung. Not only then I realized I should not be discouraged by those who do not understand the time and effort I put in my ministries, but be joyful in service simply because this is God’s work. It is a privilege to be able to serve so I should not be discouraged. I also consider it a privilege that I can have a job which allows me to have time to serve and minister.
I shall carry on the work, not for myself but because Jesus my Lord has died in my place already. Surely He can sustain me as I continue to ‘toil and labour’ for His Kingdom-sake...
2 other thoughts:
Sounds like many people are (physically) tired from doing God's work. I am too. Let's pray for one another. The work we do is not in vain and has more meaning than anything else we could ever do with our lives.
Hey rust, that was a fast one! Just posted and you commented :)
Thanks for your word of encouragement and yes I saw you (from the stage) clapping happily praising God. That was encouragement to me too :) yup let's keep one another in prayer as we all 'labour'...
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