Surprisingly, I am tired again. I remembered I blogged about how tired and stressed out I had been just last Thursday and a week later now, I am feeling tired again BUT this time, it is not the same...
I am tired of having to fight work politics. This surfaced from time to time. I am tired of having to be careful of everyone around me, to be on my toes to be careful what I say or do, in case I get stabbed on my back. I don't like to be in a culture of "tai chi" where people do not take ownership and bully those who seems more bully-able (like me). It seemed like the one who makes the loudest noise, wins. I don't like to deal with hypocrisy and pretence. I don't wish to climb up the ladder but there're people who think I am a threat. I'd prefer to be left alone to complete my work, excel in completing my tasks and remain low profile. I don't like to have to deliberately do things just to please someone just so as to be in his/her good books and to gain favour. I don't like to be in this "dog-eat-dog" world and to deal with all these...
Depending on how one views this, I may seemed immature, naive, unambitious, unrealistic of this world that is around me. Whilst it could be somewhat true, I just don't like this and I am tired of fighting and defending against those who are 'attacking' me.
Whilst I was reflecting on my 'tiredness', I was reminded of the book Revelation. We are more than half way through studying the book, understanding God's eventual judgement for mankind. I'm thankful that I have that Hope to look forward to, where I can just worship God all day long and need not be wary of anyone around me.... where Sin will be totally gone! It probably gives me some comfort to know that God will surely judge those who are against Him. The Day of Judgement is no joke and it would be unimaginable, unlike movies like Armageddon. God's wrath is REAL. It also calls for me to be faithful to the end, no matter what. It reminds me that I need not fear those around me who may stab me in the back. Who else I should fear but God Himself?
Who cares about work politics? I should just be faithful to God and bearing a good testimony. But it is easier said than done. How to even pray for the salvation of those who 'persecute' you? How to repay goodness with evil? How to love the person who harms you? How to love your enemies? Lord, please grant me grace to love people and to bear with injustice in this sinful world.
I am tired of having to fight work politics. This surfaced from time to time. I am tired of having to be careful of everyone around me, to be on my toes to be careful what I say or do, in case I get stabbed on my back. I don't like to be in a culture of "tai chi" where people do not take ownership and bully those who seems more bully-able (like me). It seemed like the one who makes the loudest noise, wins. I don't like to deal with hypocrisy and pretence. I don't wish to climb up the ladder but there're people who think I am a threat. I'd prefer to be left alone to complete my work, excel in completing my tasks and remain low profile. I don't like to have to deliberately do things just to please someone just so as to be in his/her good books and to gain favour. I don't like to be in this "dog-eat-dog" world and to deal with all these...
Depending on how one views this, I may seemed immature, naive, unambitious, unrealistic of this world that is around me. Whilst it could be somewhat true, I just don't like this and I am tired of fighting and defending against those who are 'attacking' me.
Whilst I was reflecting on my 'tiredness', I was reminded of the book Revelation. We are more than half way through studying the book, understanding God's eventual judgement for mankind. I'm thankful that I have that Hope to look forward to, where I can just worship God all day long and need not be wary of anyone around me.... where Sin will be totally gone! It probably gives me some comfort to know that God will surely judge those who are against Him. The Day of Judgement is no joke and it would be unimaginable, unlike movies like Armageddon. God's wrath is REAL. It also calls for me to be faithful to the end, no matter what. It reminds me that I need not fear those around me who may stab me in the back. Who else I should fear but God Himself?
Who cares about work politics? I should just be faithful to God and bearing a good testimony. But it is easier said than done. How to even pray for the salvation of those who 'persecute' you? How to repay goodness with evil? How to love the person who harms you? How to love your enemies? Lord, please grant me grace to love people and to bear with injustice in this sinful world.
4 other thoughts:
When 'dog eats dog'... remember you are not a dog lor. You are a new creation. :)
I'm so with you on this one, island. Recently just went through an episode where I shouldn't be involved and still got sucked in and I'm so, so, SO tired.
It just sucks all my energy leaving me weak and defenseless... which just makes these people happy when they see you like that... like they've won some battle over you or something.
Will pray for both of us.
yes, it is a dog-eat-dog world, in your office, in my company, in carpe diem's work place..
i can not agree more than what you say, and i feel what you feel, and struggle what you struggle, and it's inevitable to get tired. thankfully our hope is in Him, who love us so much to even save us by the sacrifised His one be only beloved son. Too many times we say, no I can't do it, it's too much, but we know the Lord is with us, and we have to live it out, even it's so much easier to go the other way.
will keep you in my prayer..for Christ to work in your life, to transform you inside out, to give you the strength to love, and care, to give.
Yup I realised that I'm not alone in fighting work politics. But well I guess this is in every office and I just have to move on. Pray that I won't be numbed by it but be able to live out the love the Christ has already demonstrated. Easier said than done.
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