April 18, 2010

The Battle With Generosity

I battle with being generous. It is a battle because there are times when I know I should be generous or more generous with people and things.

I struggle with being generous and gracious to people if things in my house (or in my territorial space) were not put back in the original place of storage, especially in my kitchen. I struggle when the kitchen is messy and wet. Sometimes I get unhappy with the person behind it. Other times, I am unhappy that I have to bear the inconvenience of placing the things back in the 'right' place or having to pick up the mess after people.

We are not well off. In fact, we only have just enough income to get by. We are thankful not to be in the red, which we were at one time. When something happen and a charity cause or special ministry needs require people's generosity to give financially, I do stinge a bit but will consider giving a small amount. But sometimes I will use extra money to give myself in to some luxury spending or a treat.

I suppose this stems from me being selfish... which is very much a sinful nature of me. I have much to learn about being selfless. God graciously provided this house I live in and the money that we earn from working. Most of all, God gave me His only Son, Jesus to be born, live on earth and die for all of us. Now that is a very generous and unconditional act of love. This compels me to act the same to others as what Jesus did for me. Generosity is a kind act. Kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit. I am thankful that God not only sent Jesus to be that perfect model, He also gave me a generous hubby who is a live earthly example in demonstrating kindness to others in inconveniencing himself and also giving to those in need when he is also concerned with his bank account at the same time.

Every time I feel the urge to be selfish, I must think of what Jesus has done for me... Lord, may the Spirit living in me help me grow in being generous with all that You have given me.

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