Spent most of my day packing up a lot of my clothings and belongings, doing various housework (wash clothes, hang clothes, fold clothes, bake, clean up, vacuum the floor) and had tea with DS who came to my house to spend some time together to catch up. We have not met for years and soon, she will be leaving for 10-14 years of missionary work and me leaving to Brisbane for good (hopefully).
I felt like a tai tai/housewife at home, sorting out things at home, housework, having friend over for tea with muffins that I baked and crackers with egg mayo dip that I made. It was a good time to catch up on the things that happened to us in the past years that we have not met. Its humbling to realise how God has brought us to different stages in our lives, challenged us in various ways through various situations and also broke us and taught us precious lessons in life....
As I write now, there's still so much emotions and thoughts that I need to figure out... I had many flashbacks of bits of my life while I was packing today. It makes me sad... and it makes me more sad to realise that there are many people who love me and I'm leaving them. Maybe I'm easily moved... but as I see emails flying around to organise farewell gatherings for me, 1-2-1 time I had to catch up with a couple of my close girl friends and thinking that such girly gatherings would be a thing of the past, friends around me who support me fully and so ever ready to help me for my upcoming wedding (many are on 'standby mode', just waiting to be asked), I find no words to say... only tears flowed...
I had thought that it would be easy for me to leave... and no one would bother much about my absence. After all, no one is indispensable and I am just another person who moved on in life and leave church. But as time draws nearer, I do feel sad amidst the excitement to start a new life in a new place with new friends. Yes I still do look forward to the new life with new people.... but I must admit that some bits of fear is sinking in. I was told that such stress/fear is the norm - fear of finding friends, ability to settle down, coping with married life, starting all over again. Having spoken to 2 other girls who had also married off to another country and hearing their struggles, it does makes me a bit scared. But what encourages me is that they have come through it, although the process would require much prayers, tears, difficulties in adjusting, faith in God and the molding of our character. Even though, this would take time... some people take a longer time, some people take a shorter time. The husband of one is more understanding than the other... actually both the husbands also learn to cope and to be there for their wives.
Through it all, what reminds me also, is that I need to hang onto Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. He is my Lord and God. There is no other greater than Him. I must 'bring God' along with me wherever I go, not forsaking Him and forgetting Him (yes God is omnipresent. It is just an illustration). In Christ alone I trust. There is no other like Him. Be thankful for everything He has given to me and everyone that He has put in my life. Cherish the people/relationships that I have. Everything else is fleeting and cannot bring with me to heaven. Be contented with the lot that God has given me. In all circumstances and situations, remember that God loves me and that there's nothing that's happening to me that is out of His control. Amen!
I felt like a tai tai/housewife at home, sorting out things at home, housework, having friend over for tea with muffins that I baked and crackers with egg mayo dip that I made. It was a good time to catch up on the things that happened to us in the past years that we have not met. Its humbling to realise how God has brought us to different stages in our lives, challenged us in various ways through various situations and also broke us and taught us precious lessons in life....
As I write now, there's still so much emotions and thoughts that I need to figure out... I had many flashbacks of bits of my life while I was packing today. It makes me sad... and it makes me more sad to realise that there are many people who love me and I'm leaving them. Maybe I'm easily moved... but as I see emails flying around to organise farewell gatherings for me, 1-2-1 time I had to catch up with a couple of my close girl friends and thinking that such girly gatherings would be a thing of the past, friends around me who support me fully and so ever ready to help me for my upcoming wedding (many are on 'standby mode', just waiting to be asked), I find no words to say... only tears flowed...
I had thought that it would be easy for me to leave... and no one would bother much about my absence. After all, no one is indispensable and I am just another person who moved on in life and leave church. But as time draws nearer, I do feel sad amidst the excitement to start a new life in a new place with new friends. Yes I still do look forward to the new life with new people.... but I must admit that some bits of fear is sinking in. I was told that such stress/fear is the norm - fear of finding friends, ability to settle down, coping with married life, starting all over again. Having spoken to 2 other girls who had also married off to another country and hearing their struggles, it does makes me a bit scared. But what encourages me is that they have come through it, although the process would require much prayers, tears, difficulties in adjusting, faith in God and the molding of our character. Even though, this would take time... some people take a longer time, some people take a shorter time. The husband of one is more understanding than the other... actually both the husbands also learn to cope and to be there for their wives.
Through it all, what reminds me also, is that I need to hang onto Jesus Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith. He is my Lord and God. There is no other greater than Him. I must 'bring God' along with me wherever I go, not forsaking Him and forgetting Him (yes God is omnipresent. It is just an illustration). In Christ alone I trust. There is no other like Him. Be thankful for everything He has given to me and everyone that He has put in my life. Cherish the people/relationships that I have. Everything else is fleeting and cannot bring with me to heaven. Be contented with the lot that God has given me. In all circumstances and situations, remember that God loves me and that there's nothing that's happening to me that is out of His control. Amen!
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