January 26, 2007

Post-Gastroscopy & What Happened to Me

As mentioned in my previous entry, I had a gastroscopy procedure done last weekend. I just received my medical report on Monday. My gastro doctor is a very detailed and professional man. For my condition, he wrote a 2.5 page report!

Based on all the investigation results (gastroscopy, ultrasound, physical examination, biopsy), I don't have gallstones within my gallbladder. All my organs are normal. My symptoms are likely due to "a combination of non-ulcer (functional) dyspepsia * and non-erosive gastroesophageal reflux disease ** ". What a mouthful right?? My gastro doc tells me that my condition is due to stress. The only reason why I could be stress in the past 5 weeks or so was because of an individual UP. UP has been giving me a tough time at work. Although I only had spurts of time where I was really stressed by him over the 5 weeks, maybe my stomach cannot take it and its signaling to me that I am more than stressed than I think I am. In between my visits to the doctor in one week, I have lost 1 kg. Although I want to lose weight, this surely isn't the right way to do so.

I know clearly that it is not worth allowing immature actions, words and threats of man affect me, I cannot deny that I had been affected emotionally. There were moments of frustration, anger, irritation, indignant, defensiveness in between trying to handle it professionally, godly and lovingly with forgiveness. Yesterday my patience totally wore out and I lost my cool. I thank God that in the midst of all the saga, He has given me His word to encourage me, the indescribable peace after praying to Him, colleagues and friends who were there to support me and praying for me. Also thank God for providing Dr TLP who diagnosed my problem and helping my stomach to restore to its normal function. As I returned to him for review today, he gave me medication for the next 5 weeks with decreasing dosage each week. The medication serves to 'train' my stomach to be kuai kuai and one to tell my brains to sleep well and not be stressed.

Psalm 27 always comforts me in times like these: (verses 1, 11-14)

The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I have nothing and no one to fear other than Christ my Saviour. Doesn't matter who comes in my way and 'oppress' me. Whilst I breathe on earth, I still trust in the goodness of the Lord. It is easy to be myopic and dwell in self-pity. It takes great faith and trust in the Lord who has already died for me and save me, that nothing is too big for Him to overcome for me and protect me. He is my refuge and my strength and in Him only do I hope and trust. UP can try to get me down but my Lord is in control and UP will not get his way without my Lord's 'approval'.

The saga has not ended but I know my Lord will reign!

* inability to digest or difficulty in digesting food : incomplete or imperfect digestion of food
** a highly variable chronic condition that is characterized by periodic episodes of gastroesophageal reflux usually accompanied by heartburn and that may result in histopathologic changes in the esophagus -- abbreviation GERD

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